Song of a Survivor

Once I was in love with a narcissist
I suppose that is what she was because
When we were together I was alone
Something was wrong I know because she was
The coldest person I have ever known

So I have learned the hard way to resist
The lure of those who rule from their own throne
In their own tiny universe to find
Since I am free for self-discovery
Who I am now and to know my own mind

Since March I have grown toward recovery
Since being left for dead and left behind
Which was a blessing in disguise to be
The sole salvation of my sanity
What nearly killed me made me stronger yet

Having gathered up the pieces I see
What a toxic effect she had on me
She made me feel as though I were not whole
Unless I surrendered my dignity
As though I were not and could not be free

It seems to have been all about control
I guard my heart now and never forget
She broke my heart but no one breaks my soul
My soul was always mine and not for her
Nor any false lovers who never were

As scripture says "hold fast that which thou hast
Hold fast that no one take thy crown from thee"
My soul belongs to no one else but me
Though I might love again someday somehow
Today it just feels good to still be here

I have learned a hard lesson and come through
A time of inadequacy and fear
A very dark time and I hope that you
Will join me simply to enjoy the now
Now is the best time of all to just be

With all that behind me gone in the past
And nothing left for me to do but live
Here in the moment and alone at last
I gave my all but I have more to give:
These empty arms and this heart full of poetry

+Steven Curtis Lance



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