"The Jersey Shore Shark Attacks"

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“Oh, the Bull Shark, had such sharp teeth

And it showed them serrated bright white

But unlike a street mugger with a jackknife

Chose not to keep its weapon out-of-sight.”

“So, when that shark bit, with its sharp teeth

Scarlet colors in the ocean started to spread

No kid gloves did old rogue Bull Shark wear

And there was always, always plenty of red.”

“Now it all happened on the shores of Jersey

Between July 1 and July 12 – year of our lord 1916

The Bull Shark attacked a young Philadelphian

Snuck around the corner, legs were ‘oozin red.”

“There’s a second attack north of Beach Un-Haven

The shark’s teeth, like a cement bag, came droppin’ down

Oh, that cement is just for the impatient waiter

Five it’ll finally get – the old rogue hung around.”

“Now, d’ja hear about the Stillwell kid?

He disappeared in the Matawan Creek

And now, ‘an old weather-beaten board’ appeared

Could it be the boy done somethin’ wrong?”

“Now Charles Vansant and Charles Bruder

Ooh, Lester Stillwell, ‘ol Watson Fisher, and Joseph Dunn

Oh, the exit line forms to the right, ocean bathers

Now that the Bull Shark’s back in town.”

“I said the panics spread, whoa

Look out lifeguards and everyone

Yeah, shark sightings have increased, ocean bathers

And the exit line has formed – the Bull Shark’s back in town!”

Copyright © 2007 Tinka Boukes & R. Lance Sheridan