Boxer Rebellion

Once a upon a time, there was a Rebellion quite Chinese

Took place from November 1899 to September 1901 A.D.

The Boxers were considered somewhat anti-foreign –

When worn next to sensitive skin caused chaffing & itching.

Boxer activity began somewhere in Province Shandong

Where there had been a long underwear dispute

The Catholics emphasized when inside their holy temple

Only loincloth under pure-white garments should be worn.

The Local Court of Chastity Belts in their favor ruled

This to boxer-wearing Chinese did indeed anger

They needed the temple for washing day gossiping rituals

So, they put on clean underwear & attacked the hierarchy.

Guangxu Emperor of China decided to intervene

Sought to improve Asian men’s unmentionables

The Boxers were dry-cleaned by Imperial Fashion Troops;

Then the rebels to foreign brassieres turned their attention.

The Imperial Court, now under corset control quite firm

Forced the Chemise Empress to issue petticoat edicts

Long-john Imperial Army elements to the Boxers did join

Drew complaints & wedgies from diplomats foreign.

A fortified legation remained under siege – shifted

Foreign media described the undergarment fighting –

“A panty-raid, there was alleged torture, tens of thousands

of Chinese Onward Christians underwear were massacred.”

The poorly designed Boxers couldn’t hold broken wind

To the International Undergarment Army, this did relieve

But, the situation worsened when in sailed foreign navies

Sailors from non-Asian nations wore trouser-like bloomers.

Ships carried a large, expandable patented force

Undertook punitive damages – caught the Boxers unaware

The Imperial Chinese Government greatly failed

Ten years after – the Republic of China; Boxers browned-out.

Copyright © 2007 Tinka Boukes & R. Lance Sheridan