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Kimmy Van Kooten

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Member Since: Aug, 2006

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Santa Can’t FlipThe Bird!
by Kimmy Van Kooten → (All Poetry by Kimmy Van Kooten)
   Rated "PG" by the Author.
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A true story, up until I knew better!


Poem Artwork

I sat on his lap with little thoughts . . . Hmm?
In doubt, but never would I asked
"Is this really the real Santa Claus, I’d wonder
or, is he just some old man donning his mask?"

I looked at his nose
Now, this guy’s really glows!
. . . his twinkle, I awed . . . stilled in wonder, I eyed
Thinking maybe this Santa was the real, really Claus!

His suit was big and red. . . 
just like all the other ones, since Ned
with wide,  snow fur borders
his long white bearding in order . . .

Big black boots buckled silver
Me, looking up and down under
Not so much in questioning
but searching, in muddle . . . I saw

He held a long leather strap, ringing real jingle bells
A rolly-polly rosy old man, who had that funny, smelly, old peoples smell!
Santa sat there and told me, some other story about Rudolph
One, I know you will tell!

He began while removing his glove, wiggling four fingers, telling how he'd lost one
Rudolph bit it off, hungry, he said, that very first year, since Ned
"I was feeding him right out my hand . . .
When my right middle finger, he then, chewed off and ran . . ."

Well, all my life . . . all my Christmas times, fore
This same Santa would come to our door
He’d be jingling those bells, sounding hearty, Ho, Ho, Ho’s!
Waving those four fingers as he’d wrinkle his nose

Candy canes, he gave us
and little coloring books with crayons
Winking, then asking
"Were you a good girl this year?"

Of course, as always, I replied with a, "Yes!"
Presenting back to him, a right middle finger, waving high in the air!
Saying,
"O’ have a very Merry Christmas, Santa!"
and "Thank you for everything, dear!"

I guess I needed showing’ him, mine right back at to him
my right middle finger was still quite there!


 

Copyright 2007
Kimmy Van Kooten
 
 
 


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 Reviews of "Santa Can’t FlipThe Bird!"
Reviewed by Mary Coe
Reviewed on December 20, 2007
LOL! Funny.

Reviewed on December 18, 2007
Very deep Kimmy indeed! Bless you! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by E. Richardson
Reviewed on December 16, 2007
well...having been a standin Santa on occassion, I can tell you that Santa and indeed flip a bird...heheheheh...however, that is why I no longer am a stand in...I was released from my Santa clasue by informing everyone that to get their gift(s), they had to sit on Santa's lap...heheheehh....Loved this thoroughly humorous write of yours Kimmy.

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on December 16, 2007
sure look like he wants to ;)

humorous and well written ....

Reviewed by Leland Waldrip
Reviewed on December 16, 2007
A good laugh --- poking fun at Santa!
Best regards,
Leland

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on December 16, 2007
So very cute sweet lady...Hugssssss

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on December 15, 2007
You are so creative and funny... Makes me wonder what you'd write about if you sat on his lap and felt where that finger went!

Ron

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on December 14, 2007
Enjoyed the read!!

Love tinka

Reviewed by John Leko
Reviewed on December 14, 2007
...something about the bird in this write...makes this story take flight.
humored with the colors of this mind...
John

Reviewed by Walt Hardester
Reviewed on December 14, 2007
Rudolph bit it off...Too funny.

Walt

Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Oh how much I needed to have a good laugh... came to the perfect site to get it. Thanks Kimmy, love Holly

Reviewed by Felix Perry
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Hmmnnn will don't know who that dude was with the missing digit but Santa Fee has all his intact and knows how to use them Kimmy.
hugs
Santa Fee

Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone (Reader)
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
You've captured a special moment in a child's thoughts. Very well done. Lady J

Reviewed by Richard Cederberg
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
You truly are one of a kind Kimmy friend. This made me laugh deliciously.
Blessings to you ...
Richard

Reviewed by Lew Duffey
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Hey, girl. Are saying Santa is a dirty old man?
That could put you on his naughty list.
LOL!
God Bless,
Lew

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
hahaha, Kimmy you are a hoot!;-) lol

Reviewed on December 13, 2007
LM*O

Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Laughing too hard to review--Merry Christmas!!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Rose Rideout
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Well Kimmy I'm not sure about giving old Santa that finger, sure hope he continued to be good to you year after year. Great write and thank you for sharing.

Newfie Hugs, Rose

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
Kimmy,

One things for sure, we've got one up on him or maybe even two if we're ambidextrous. (lol) Merry Christmas. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on December 12, 2007
Cute, very lively and most fitting for the season....

Be safe,
Karen


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