Karla,
Sounds as if you are at the crossroads. The author of "Angela's Ashes" is always an inspiration for me. Though he died recently, his success came late in life. He was around 50, I think, when his book came out. He proved that it's never too late for anything. You are far too hard on yourself, but I also think that's natural. I've had several of these feelings myself. Stay strong!
Sheila
Karla, you are one of the backbones of AD. I always know I will feel something when I read one of your poems. Sad, happy, funny, scarey. Whatever. And this is what a poem is supposed to do. You do it. So, your older sister is a not so nice person. I know that feeling all to well. And boy, if anyone has been down on herself, it's me. So, I can commiserate with you there. and yes, you have every right to vent and not be yakked at. You don't do it often. So write on because you are right on. Love you and your writing. Liz
We all carry the injustices of cruelly-felt words spoken over our lives to a greater or lesser degree, Karla. I have only ever been made to feel someone and beautiful since I have found my voice in my pen, that's for sure. And this is largely MY fault, I know... I had believed the lies that others had, even JOKINGLY spoken to me as a child and taken them to heart, seeing ever only the Ugly Duckling. Then, when people were kind enough to tell me the truth, I couldn't receive it - still can't, really. It's like I heard them speak words or write them and STILL thought they must be talking about someone else! :)) xxx Only YOU can make your heart and mind believe the TRUTH that you are good, beautiful and loved: for who YOU, KARLA, are. Yes, you have had more than your fair share of hard-knocks perhaps but you yourself have rationalised that these have never been your deliberate fault. Please CHOOSE to hear the good things, Karla, because, as you do, your reality changes and you start to see all of life from the other way round, the hitherto inside out. I can testify to that. But LET IT ALL HANG OUT ANYWAYS! Honesty is wonderful and beautiful too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And besides, we're missing the pens of words and pictures that only YOU can bring us. C'mon... love yourself and join the club! XXXXXXXXXXXX
Words DID NOT fail you in this one Karla.
A great purging. One of your very best writes.
No human can help. It's between you and Christ.
Pray for wisdom.
And then make two lists,
everything good in your life,
and everything bad in your life.
Be honest!
richard
Listen to "the still small voice" deep within your "self," Karla; you shall be convinced of your true worth and KNOW you ARE loved. Your friend from BC, Canada,
Regis
Reviewed by 000 000 (Reader)
Reviewed on February 21, 2010
I LOVE YOU!!!
and so does JESUS!!
You are an awesome photographer...and I enjoy your writings!
Love and sunshine, Carol3Hawks
The self-realization that life is okay including your life comes when you least expect it! You are one of God's children, he will not forsake you! Everyone here at AD loves you, Karla! You have been our rock and now it is time for us to be your rock! You will find your path, Karla, I know it! I am disabled and have no transportation also. Life IS good, Karla!
Love and blessings, Becca
You can become an online advocate to help the persecuted church. Such as with Release. CSW.
For owning a Bible these people are executed, put in prison. To post a tract, a message of hope, a bookmark. A note to the families in poetry. There is so much you can achieve with the net. Then pray for these peeps letting them know that mighty America knows and cares.
So sorry to hear you are going through a blue spot in your life, just hang in there and climb out the other side, you have so many friends at AD pulling for you.
peace, Carole~
It has been my experience that those people who say these things to those of us who have an inner resolve to overcome and to conquer our foes do so because they themselves are living the life of a coward. They fear your success, your strength, and your integrity. They are to be pitied, so put the anger away and live triumphantly. You don't need to get a job or change anything in your life except to adopt the attitude of a humble servant. The last shall be first. Pray for your son Karla. There are many young men out there who do not have a praying Mom who prays for them. You go girl. I love your grit, your honesty, and your ability as a poet and photographer. Love you period, J'nia
Karla, I wish the 'magic' words could come to bring you peace and the self worth you crave; just know I am keeping you in my thoughts, and wish for you happiness.
Hey girl! welcome to the club of people that got the prophesy about amounting to nothing in life, and you know what? they were wrong!!! Oh how wrong they were! They must had sensed a sickening feeling when failure didn't took hold of you, second guessing perhaps? maybe, but you have accomplished much more than they ever imagine or wished to accomplish themselves.
We all have the right to doubt ourselves, to measure us with that fantasy yard made of improbable inches that make us appear gnomes when in reality we are giants.
You have all the right to have blues, but now li'l sis...snap out of it!!! cos self pity is not worth of a giant.
I feel your weight Karla, lift it with writing, self help books etc. you have so much to offer yourself which should come first, the rest will follow,,,in my thoughts and prayers~
Love, Christine
Firstly Karla..how brave to bare your soul in this way....I have had many similar feelings to you over the years, and it was writing that gave me a therapeutic escape. You have helped me so much in the last fifteen months since my husband Melvyn died...I have seen your work here, even when I have not commented, as I have been in too much emotional pain, but seeing that you were still writing, day after day, expressing yourself from the heart, helped me to see that life is moving forward all the time. Just seeing your name, solid and safe helped me...carrying on with life despite all your fears. When you can learn just to accept yourself as you are right now...and in time love yourself..wonderful things will happen in your life. Could I suggest Louise Hays 'You Can Heal Your Life'...Sending Love and Prayers, and a strong belief that you CAN do this...as the old song says, 'Yesterday Has Gone, all that matters is right now..And you can live a lifetime in each minute,.. yesterday has gone without a sound..' We all need you Karla..."All Healing is letting go, and all letting go is Healing." HUGS, Diana...
Karla, we have all been where you are now.....but in different ways. It's okay to feel down for a bit...give yourself that time.....BUT.....move on...you have a life to live.......and you need to live it! These are not just words, because I've been where you are......most of us have...the circumstances and events were just different. BELIEVE in yourself and BELIEVE that something wonderful is waiting just for you!
Karla:
We all go through this self doubts, especially of what we've heard from people who were older than us when we were children. I've been having flash backs of everything that was being said to me too when I was a child, and that has been making me very unhappy lately. However, I know this is just a phase of our lives that we are remembering things that should have been long forgotten. I hope both you and I will go through this same phase of life soon and come out of it to become a much stronger person. We need to pull ourselves together and forget about the past. We don't belong there anymore.
Karla, your in my prayers. Try not to let the tapes of what your older said over and over again. You are letting her still abuse you when maybe she has moved on and forgotten. I am not asking you to move on and forget, but I am asking that you realize what she said has NO reality!You have a gift which many people don't have. You are a writer and author. That is a humbling yet awesome gift.You are a gift to and for us . Thank you.
With Love,
Cindy
Karla,
You got it off your chest now let it go!! I know the fibro hell--but each day I wake up alive is a day I wake up. I lost a child to a drunk driver--try living with that some time. But I did and you lost a child as well--we survived!! People who succeed against all odds and suffering are a special breed and you are one of them. We are here to listen to your sorrow, your poems and your joys. There is someone else who is waiting to hear from you who can give your the most comfort of all. Go to Him and find that healing and hope awaits.
You are loved by everyone here and by God Himself and I know what you are feeling as I feel the same every so often, but hate to see anyone else suffering from this same malady...you WILL get past this feeling, I know, because I get past it a bit every so often too...Love & God Bless, Ed
Karla, failure? Not hardly. Military service to your country and fellow Americans. But a small percentage of Americans can make that claim. A dedicated lady that successfully beat an alcohol addiction problem. A mighty talented photographer and poet. A woman dedicated to caring for her sister. A woman with numerous friends and followers at the den. Failure? Your being too hard on yourself. And I am convinced that you are capable of succeeding at anything you truly set your mind to. Chin up, face to the wind. May love and peace invade every aspect of your life my friend -- Jon Michael
Hey -get angry, that handy secondary emotion that comes from/or hides sadness -you know yourself i think Karla, you accept your sadness, do you accept your anger? and channel the energy from it to make some small changes to self, or to the society which does not show enough care and respect toward you. I say society is an arse! Onwards is the best way forwards aint it? Continue the fight for a just society Karla, and know you are right and righteous for doing so, for the next along the road...Petition for full and fair access to the social world, recontact the tv station, write to the radio stations, local papers, pressure group the wrongs of the dis-abled ears and eyes around you. You have a right to be angry, as you have a right to be filled with the self love and self respect so many have as a given -you have good advice and friends below who mirror what you know to be truth. You are the world, and the world needs a good talking to -go show the world the truth with your unique eloquence and true soul - change come slow, the future will thank you -love and respect, and a toast to your power Karla -Nicky xx
Now Karz, it' is I...Your Kwaussie m8 ok!!
I know bout those disgusting voices, ranting over and over, I heard em all too, till I nearly went numb with emptiness. I have written more stuff expressing all that than I think I have consciously realized all these years! BUT. it gets it off your chest, it gets it out in the open, it helps you cope, and move on with life.
Ranting n Raving about the crap put on your shoulders as a littlin, never hurt anyone, it's therapy and we have to go to that place of doing it, and getting it all out, like pus out of a sore!!
God wants us to be healed from our sorrows too, and so he sends u ppl, and gives us gifts with which to exercise this great love.
Essentially he is sending us that life raft to climb on and be safe!
He wants us to thrive, not merely to survive. Sympathy is good, but Empathy is the WTG, and so Dearest, my EMPATHY to you. I too have Fibro as you know, it's hell, now I live alone, rearing my kids an all their problems, two with potentially life threatening, if I don't do the right things, at the right time..Their Father gutless, leaving them for a cheap fling..
I fight the good fight hon, and will continue to do so, as Long as God gives me breath in my lungs..No matter what challenge comes our way here!!
So darling, Write, write and write, yell, rant, rave, talk, tell any decent therapist how you feel, and get it all out!!
The more you talk it over, the less it impacts upon your life, till you wake up one day...and could care less about what negative rot was spun to you as a child, by someone who obviously had no clue..There are just ppl in this world who sadly specialize in the art of bringing others down, and then try to ingratiate themselves into good society. It cheapens it for those of us who really do care!!
The knockers, there's one out there for every single person who has a dream, who wants to use the Talents and gifts that are God Given. Knockers, that need to go knock on a dunny door m8 and get rid of all the respective S..t built up in them.
Whatever excuse ppl have for doing this, it is simply NOT good enough, it destroys other ppl's lives, and it must be IGNORED!!!
You are You, one of a kind, like I am me, one of a kind,irreplaceable and unique in every way known to man and dog :):)
Listen honey, I have been called by so many foul things for so long, and accused of being a hateful person, for a start!!! Thats just a start, after I got through with dealing with the Mother's echoing, You will never stick to anything, you're this, you're that. Total Shyte m8, sad and sick *&&^^
Now, I wanna see some more writes, bout stuff, let it all out, let it all go, and eventually it goes through to the keeper.
Never let anyone, or anything!!! Tell you otherwise, and those voices talking negative rot, buzz that off too, coz it's you know who just trying to bring yah down..IGNORE and listen only to the positive thoughts, and expressions from other people ok. If it is a stinky thought, ditch it, if it is a stinky expression, or attack from someone, ditch it, and God will tell you all you need to now, about YOU!!
You don't need anyone else's opinion btw, it helps, but GOD will give you all the info you need, so listen to HIM, and get that there QUILL out honey bunch.
Love yah..
Miss Karla, now you know what Miss Amber is going to say, Please, stop listening to those voices that are sabotaging your health and well being. I want you to close your eyes and see the beauty of who you really are...Someone that is a very good person, a tremendous sister, a loyal friend and a very good writer...
I am very proud of you, you have come a very long way, it's time to accept all the goodness that God has bestowed on you, and cross off the negativity that keeps creeping in...You must find your center. You should go out and connect with nature. A tree is a great place to start, they give unconditional love and energy...Look up the Power of Trees and you may find a place to begin to balance your energy and well being...Absorb the energy from the ground and the trees they are there for free and want to reach out to you...
Please, sweetie, please try it, it is really amazing...
I want you to let me know via message how you are doing..I am a shoulder to lean on.
Much peace, love, and angel light to you sweet one.
Amber "V"
That negative-speak spoken over and over was soaked up in your little girl brain like a sponge. Your own negative-speak and the added slights from other family members has reinforced that voice in your subconscious. Rebuke those voices. Write them down, all that you can remember, and burn them! Then write out all the positive qualities that make you the beautiful human being you are(God doesn't create junk)--write them out in sentence form and read them before you go to sleep. This will help re-program your mind. Yes, bitterness will literally kill you by attracting disease. You are a perceptive and sensitive artist who has a mission in this world. The beauty that you have seen and expressed on these pages! Fight that old devil who would want nothing better than to destroy your beautiful soul. Don't let him!
Why is it that some are allowed to vent, but if you do, you're told to stop bitching? I don't think you complain that much. You hold everything in for fear of pissing someone off. Get it off your chest! I do and what happens? More reviews on my poetry! GRRR!!! LOL This is exactly the reason why I won't do poetry. You bust your ass to write a poem and it seems that others here (including me) get the reviews while you get squat. At least you're being read (as I am); I guess it's better than nothing. But once in a while ...
you'd like to feel appreciated. I understand because I am in the same position you are, excepting in my case, it's stories. You've bared much here, more than I ever could. Life has been hard on you (and me too), and you've tried to let go of some of the pain you've held in for so long. You did it well here; a raw, brutally honest, courageous write! I applaud you! I am so sorry you've had to endure some of what you've had to go through; you may not feel this way, but I believe it's made you a much stronger person. Your name certainly seems fitting in this write. Karla=strong. Yes. That's you, all over! I love you so much! And I am grateful that we are twin sisters and are together; this is the way it should be!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( *tears!*
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on February 20, 2010
I'm be short and sweet (well, maybe not so sweet). Get off the pity potty. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you don't like what you see, CHANGE IT! Do you have problems. Hell yes. Are they insurmountable? Hell no. Start looking out for Karla. It is NEVER too late to find your life, please believe me. So go take that look in the mirror and go from there. Oh, I know why you haven't been around here, you're hanging out at Facebook . . .
Karla, you are a great person and a great friend. I understand what you're going through; I've been there myself. Been disabled for more than 12 years now; felt worthless when it happened and sometimes I still get really, really down about it. But we're all here for a reason and God has a reward for us all when our time comes. We do what we can with what we have. Think about it; lots of people out there are much worse off than we are, but they're still plugging along and we can too. C'mon Karla; you're God's child and He wants to see you happy. You have a lot to live for, my friend; a lot friends here in the Den and a lot of people who love you and care. Don't do this to yourself, Karla. Hand it over to God. He knows what to do but you need to ask for His help. Do it, Karla. Please. Just do it.
Karla, I'm so sorry to hear you so down on yourself. Nobody can change the way your life is going but, you know who. I'm not religious so, no, I do not mean God, I mean you. Other than your writing, which at most times is very good, I do not know you so haven't the slightest idea what to say to help or cheer you up. I know this about writing, though; you cannot force it, and in your mood you are going to force it then be unhappy with the results. So the only advice I can give you is to back off. Try to relax and give it a few days, or give it time to come to your mind on its own because pushing yourself to write something, to write anything is not going to work for you. You past life does, indeed, sound awful, especially about giving your son up. But what's done is done so what else can you do but take a deep breath, sit back and relax until you find yourself again. You and your sister have, I'm sure, hundreds of friends at AD and I'm sure that they are all wishing you the best.
Mark
Karla you are NOT A failure, you are a wonderful friend and a great person and a child of God, you deserve to know that, please stop beating yourself up
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Robert Burns' first daughter was Elizabeth. Her story and the five descendants Scottish lives are recorded here with the Bard's message today as ever in need. Al Quida listen: Then let us pray that come it may, As come it will for a' that. That Sense
Margaret Kohel Evans invites her mother's grandchildren to a delightful visit with their grandmother, sharing charming memories of her across eighteen life themes.
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Sounds as if you are at the crossroads. The author of "Angela's Ashes" is always an inspiration for me. Though he died recently, his success came late in life. He was around 50, I think, when his book came out. He proved that it's never too late for anything. You are far too hard on yourself, but I also think that's natural. I've had several of these feelings myself. Stay strong!
Sheila
A great purging. One of your very best writes.
No human can help. It's between you and Christ.
Pray for wisdom.
And then make two lists,
everything good in your life,
and everything bad in your life.
Be honest!
richard
Regis
and so does JESUS!!
You are an awesome photographer...and I enjoy your writings!
Love and sunshine, Carol3Hawks
Love and blessings, Becca
For owning a Bible these people are executed, put in prison. To post a tract, a message of hope, a bookmark. A note to the families in poetry. There is so much you can achieve with the net. Then pray for these peeps letting them know that mighty America knows and cares.
peace, Carole~
Cheers,
Dan
We all have the right to doubt ourselves, to measure us with that fantasy yard made of improbable inches that make us appear gnomes when in reality we are giants.
You have all the right to have blues, but now li'l sis...snap out of it!!! cos self pity is not worth of a giant.
Georg
Love, Christine
John
We all go through this self doubts, especially of what we've heard from people who were older than us when we were children. I've been having flash backs of everything that was being said to me too when I was a child, and that has been making me very unhappy lately. However, I know this is just a phase of our lives that we are remembering things that should have been long forgotten. I hope both you and I will go through this same phase of life soon and come out of it to become a much stronger person. We need to pull ourselves together and forget about the past. We don't belong there anymore.
Love and hugs,
Sandie Angel :o) XXX
With Love,
Cindy
You got it off your chest now let it go!! I know the fibro hell--but each day I wake up alive is a day I wake up. I lost a child to a drunk driver--try living with that some time. But I did and you lost a child as well--we survived!! People who succeed against all odds and suffering are a special breed and you are one of them. We are here to listen to your sorrow, your poems and your joys. There is someone else who is waiting to hear from you who can give your the most comfort of all. Go to Him and find that healing and hope awaits.
Love, Micki
I know bout those disgusting voices, ranting over and over, I heard em all too, till I nearly went numb with emptiness. I have written more stuff expressing all that than I think I have consciously realized all these years! BUT. it gets it off your chest, it gets it out in the open, it helps you cope, and move on with life.
Ranting n Raving about the crap put on your shoulders as a littlin, never hurt anyone, it's therapy and we have to go to that place of doing it, and getting it all out, like pus out of a sore!!
God wants us to be healed from our sorrows too, and so he sends u ppl, and gives us gifts with which to exercise this great love.
Essentially he is sending us that life raft to climb on and be safe!
He wants us to thrive, not merely to survive. Sympathy is good, but Empathy is the WTG, and so Dearest, my EMPATHY to you. I too have Fibro as you know, it's hell, now I live alone, rearing my kids an all their problems, two with potentially life threatening, if I don't do the right things, at the right time..Their Father gutless, leaving them for a cheap fling..
I fight the good fight hon, and will continue to do so, as Long as God gives me breath in my lungs..No matter what challenge comes our way here!!
So darling, Write, write and write, yell, rant, rave, talk, tell any decent therapist how you feel, and get it all out!!
The more you talk it over, the less it impacts upon your life, till you wake up one day...and could care less about what negative rot was spun to you as a child, by someone who obviously had no clue..There are just ppl in this world who sadly specialize in the art of bringing others down, and then try to ingratiate themselves into good society. It cheapens it for those of us who really do care!!
The knockers, there's one out there for every single person who has a dream, who wants to use the Talents and gifts that are God Given. Knockers, that need to go knock on a dunny door m8 and get rid of all the respective S..t built up in them.
Whatever excuse ppl have for doing this, it is simply NOT good enough, it destroys other ppl's lives, and it must be IGNORED!!!
You are You, one of a kind, like I am me, one of a kind,irreplaceable and unique in every way known to man and dog :):)
Listen honey, I have been called by so many foul things for so long, and accused of being a hateful person, for a start!!! Thats just a start, after I got through with dealing with the Mother's echoing, You will never stick to anything, you're this, you're that. Total Shyte m8, sad and sick *&&^^
Now, I wanna see some more writes, bout stuff, let it all out, let it all go, and eventually it goes through to the keeper.
Never let anyone, or anything!!! Tell you otherwise, and those voices talking negative rot, buzz that off too, coz it's you know who just trying to bring yah down..IGNORE and listen only to the positive thoughts, and expressions from other people ok. If it is a stinky thought, ditch it, if it is a stinky expression, or attack from someone, ditch it, and God will tell you all you need to now, about YOU!!
You don't need anyone else's opinion btw, it helps, but GOD will give you all the info you need, so listen to HIM, and get that there QUILL out honey bunch.
Love yah..
Chezza ;)
I am very proud of you, you have come a very long way, it's time to accept all the goodness that God has bestowed on you, and cross off the negativity that keeps creeping in...You must find your center. You should go out and connect with nature. A tree is a great place to start, they give unconditional love and energy...Look up the Power of Trees and you may find a place to begin to balance your energy and well being...Absorb the energy from the ground and the trees they are there for free and want to reach out to you...
Please, sweetie, please try it, it is really amazing...
I want you to let me know via message how you are doing..I am a shoulder to lean on.
Much peace, love, and angel light to you sweet one.
Amber "V"
Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Love & Light, Lin
you'd like to feel appreciated. I understand because I am in the same position you are, excepting in my case, it's stories. You've bared much here, more than I ever could. Life has been hard on you (and me too), and you've tried to let go of some of the pain you've held in for so long. You did it well here; a raw, brutally honest, courageous write! I applaud you! I am so sorry you've had to endure some of what you've had to go through; you may not feel this way, but I believe it's made you a much stronger person. Your name certainly seems fitting in this write. Karla=strong. Yes. That's you, all over! I love you so much! And I am grateful that we are twin sisters and are together; this is the way it should be!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( *tears!*
Mark
In Christs Love
Michelle~