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Did We Shave Our Legs For This???
By La Belle Rouge & Southern Comfort

We painted up our lips and eyes
We came here to win the doorprize
in the Cavern Creek Poetry review.
We were told we must shave
cause Ole Edvard, That Knave
thought hairy women a sin.
So we shaved all our fuzz off
at such a terrible cost
To get into the poet’s cave again.

Just when we thought we would win
we caught a glimpse of him
Ole Edvard the Neanderthal.
Now we’re pissed off big time
at that chauvinist slime.
Cause when we arrived we found
Big Beardna from the wolf clan
with Edvard’s arms wrapped around.
Our poor beavers are bald
and at the end of the hall
Hairy Beardna is making mating sounds.

Now it just don’t seem fair
that we had to shave off our hair
just to chow down on some wine and cheese.
The cave men stink, we can’t even think
and the poetry, well it aint much better.
So contact us next year by stone letter

How about our doorprize Mr. Fang
we don’t give a good dang
how many other poems are entered.
We shaved off our hair, just to be there.
All our womanly feelings are splintered.
We want two Geico Cavemen for our prize
and not any obnoxious poets in disguise.
We can only shake our head
something smells like it’s dead.
And as we walk out into the swampy mist
we must ask ourselves, cause we can’t resist,
“Did we shave our legs for THIS?”




Hey Ya ole stanky Cavemen Dudes,
You is smelly, dumb and dad burn crude.
This here so called party be a joke,
The wine is rank and
the stale cheese makes us choke!

Me and My Sissy LaBelle,
Come her to git roarin drunk and raise some Hell!
We spent our valuable time shavin high and low,
So we could hump Ole Neanderthal Ed,
we thought it be a go!

Now we find the ole Fart bumpin uglies
with a woman covered in hair,
Hell, ifen I hadn't seem
some titties stickin out through the brush,
I’d swear he was a humpin a bear!
Then some ole Goober grabbed my hooter
and said," Glad to meet Ya Jim!"
He greeted all the women that way,
what the Hell is wrong with him?

Me and Sissy be walkin funny
from all the razor burn,
Hell, this crap shoot wasn't worth a shave,
we done learned!
Now our legs, pits and beavers shiver in the breeze,
All this fuss and muss fur some Damn stale cheese!

Some Hairy Dude started beatin a drum,
Me and Sissy started shakin our tail feathers,
jest fur fun! I bent over and saw Ole Ed grin,
Sissy yelled, SC you furgot to wear yore drawers again!"

Suddenly Ed made a made dash,
I guess he liked the view
of my clean shaven ash!
Wine kept fillin my cup,
Soon I was roarin drunk and ripe to corrupt!
I passed out and awoke in an aweful state,
Wonderin what had been my fate?
Well anyway I am STILL PISSED!
I can't believe I shaved fur THIS!


10/1/2007 La Belle Rouge & Southern Comfort

Music "Did I Shave My Legs For This" Deana Carter