Edification, from ‘Ed’spaña

By Kathy Armijo

‘Twas me desire to behead the Eds
And adorn me mastheads
But Capt. LaBelle, Edwina, Edith Bonnie and me
Invented a plan
To finally rid the isle
Of those bothersome brother Eds

The plan was simple
To gain the isle and have the last laugh
Me wrote the note in Spanish
For all the Eds to see
While LaBelle claimed it was in French
About St. Croix and a dead
Uncle Too-Loose La Wreck

Them Eds are sure dumb
The lot of them ain’t got no schoolin’

They pretendin’ to be readin’
The attorney’s note
All the while thinkin’
‘Bout bordellos, spas and rum
And a larger isle for all to share
             [Them Eds ain’t got any light bulbs to spare
             They be boarding boats and going out to sea]

Meanwhile, the Edwina’s, Edith and me
Will board our ships
And head for Chesapeake Bay
There a few weeks we’ll stay
Whilst the Eds head for St. Croix
     [Near Baja, California –
      According to the fake map]

They be gone for at least
Five years
We won’t be sheddin’ any tears

Yo, ho ho and a bottle of rum
We sure is having some fun
Whilst those brothers Ed
Head out to sea
They sure be dim-witted!