Once upon a time, there were three bears.
Of these you have often been told.
There were things left out of the bear's affairs
and not mentioned in the story you've been sold.

There were three bears, this much is true .
This, I am not disputing.
It's just that the truth from there on was few
and almost left out of the telling.

Goldilocks was not a girl with a lack of proper bear manners.
She was a yellow haired house burglar, who
had a fondness for fine sheets, fine wine and windjammers.
Shapely and beautiful, she was too!

The Bears were men (with less than perfect manners), who
lived in a humongous mansion just outside of Bel Air.
A six bedroom, four bath, jacuzzi, with pool too -
along with a fondness for hunting, they did share.

One night, on a hunting trip, the Bears went
leaving their large estate unprotected.
Of course this, a certain message sent,
to all burglars who could work undetected.

Goldilocks was a first class thief,
this must be made very clear.
She wasn't the sort to come to grief
or be seen by a neighbor far or near.

She slipped easily into the Bear's house.
No problems doing so had she.
She was as quiet as the proverbial mouse.
She didn't need the assistance of a skeleton key.

The house was sumptuous, fine and grand.
At first she wandered from room to room.
She did stop to test the beds with her hand
and found the house quiet as a tomb.

Her attention was caught by the biggest bedchamber.
In there was a bar, a hot tub and the biggest softest bed!
She poured herself some wine in a fine glass of amber,
laid down on the bed and, with satisfaction, she said,


'I think I will rest here for a minute or two.
'The Bears should be gone all night.'
She didn't figure on it starting to rain, and too,
the Bears getting into a rip roaring fight.

They came home early, after spending all night running errands.
Grumpy, tired, hungry and boy, were they mad!
One forgot the beer, the other the food, one even forgot the guns!
Now doesn't this make a hunting trip seem futile and sad?

The first bear was upset and began to yell.
The second became furious and uptight.
The third thought what happened to his bed was swell.
He turned, wished the others well and told them, 'Good Night!'