Dear Santa,

I know that you are busy
Making your list and checking it twice
Figuring out who’s been naught and nice,
Will I have a confession…..

(I can’t believe you are writing Santa you have no chance in hell!)

Shut up will you!!!!

Oh, not you Santa I was talking to my conscience
She has been the naughty one.

(damn straight!!!! Some ones gotta have fun!)

Im sure if you check my record you will see
The good things I have done without my conscience.

(Yeah Santa, so good that she left me out..
now tell me, is that a good thing to do to yourself?
In my book that’s called neglect!!!!)

Damn it …..shut up .. this is my letter stay out of it!

Sorry Santa… Im sure you see why I LEFT HER OUT!
I really should get extra for just putting up with her harassments!

(Oh yeah right .. blame all of you flaws on me…
I kinda like that thought… yeah.. IM BAD!!!! ^5)

Anyway .. I have one thing I want for Christmas, its really not much.
It doesn’t cost anything… at least I don’t think it does.

(Ha Ha .. sure . you know everything has a PRICE!!!)

Santa, I just want someone special to have the gift of peace.

(What the hell is that? I need the dictionary… I don’t know the meaning of that word!.)

Santa, you know who it is… its all I want for Christmas…..
Well lets not forget my conscience …. Give her a bag of switches ..
She will love it I’m sure….

( Wooo hoooo… see she does love me!!! Merry Christmas brat!)

Merry Christmas to you too, you little bitch! I mean sweetie!