A nutty poem about the things in life that stink. From Dennis Domrzalski's comic novel, I Got Stinky Feet

I don't know much 'rithmetic,
I can't spell retreet.
I can't fly a fighter plane,
But I got stinky feet.

My feet stink worse that laziness,
And worthless dumb-cluck slobs
Who say they really want to work
Then only take six jobs

My feet stink worse than Christmas time
And smiling kids with toys,
And happy, fatso Santa Claus,
Good cheer, peace, love and joys.

My feet stink worse than slobs who fart
On buses and subways,
And then pretend that they don't stink
And fart, fart, fart away.

My feet stink worse than old people
Who always walk so slow,
And block my way and make me late
For everywhere I go.

My feet stink worse than lawyer's jokes
And goofs who laugh at them.
They stink much worse than month-old sweat
And used car salesmen.

My feet stink worse than liquor stores
That don't stay open late,
And stupid, holy Christian goofs
Who say it's wrong to hate.

Pigs who don't flush toilets
And don't change underwear,
Slobs who sneeze into their hands
Then wipe them in their hair.

Scum who never brush their teeth,
Ugly broads who sing,
Stupid drugged-up college kids
Who don't know anyting.

Fat people who wear tight clothes,
Wimps who never fight,
Cheesed-up stupid liberals
Who always think their right.

Fools who cherish friendship,
People who eat beets,
Po-lite dudes who leave their chairs
To give old ladies seats.

Chiropractors, nuns and priests,
Firemen and cops,
Journalists and cab drivers,
Guys in butcher shops.

Carpenters and movie stars,
Goofs who play the drums,
Mailmen and foot soldiers,
Produce clerks and bums.

Car mechanics, laborers,
Babes who pick their nose,
More than these disgusting creeps
Stink my smelly toes.

My feet stink worse than people,
And life and wind and rain,
Sunshine, shelter food and clothes,
Drugs, light, shoes, desks and pain.

Soil, weather, oxygen,
Water, rocks and air,
Paper money, bank accounts,
Hillbillies with hair.

Civilization, varnish,
Solar systems, pride,
Highways, books and dead people,
A gap-toothed ugly bride.

My feet stink worse than stink itself,
And worse than God is good.
They smell much more than Satan sins
And than a tree has wood.

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, Stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink.

My feet stink worse than artists!

My mother had a canker sore.
My father had a wart.
My brother had a carbuncle
Much bigger than a fort.

My auntie had an ugly face.
My grandpa had a blister.
My grandma was a bad-breath case.
Four tumors had my sister.

My cousin never had a friend.
My gal was hooked on dope.
My smelly niece began a trend
To stop the use of soap.

Their warts and tumors don't phase me,
Disease I sure can beat.
No sickness they contract, of course,
Can stink worse than my feet!

A maggot ain't a pretty sight,
And not much fun to eat,
But if you want to, take a bite
Out of my stinky feet.

My brother ain't a cherry tree.
My house can't read or write.
A toothpick ain't an envelope.
A dark cave ain't so bright.

A mansion's not a paperclip.
A dead man's not a chair.
A snowball ain't a handkerchief.
A cockroach ain't a pear.

Three monkeys don't an icecube make.
A snowflake don't make heat.
All the stink combined on earth
Can't stink worse than my feet!

I'm the big-shot king of stink;
The smelly number one.
Ain't no two feet on this earth
Can stink like mine have done.

My feet stink worse than everything--
Say hallelujah ho--
Smell these putrid toes just once
And to the grave you'll go.

My feet stink, stink my feet,
My stink, feet, feet, stink feet.
Stink feet, feet, stink, stink feet,
Feet, feet, stink, stink, feet, feet.

I'll die some day, though life I crave,
Death humans just can't beat.
But satisfied I'll hit the grave,
'Cause I had stinky feet!