Life is a Beach

Bringing in the New Year

Twas the night before New Years and all through the house

The place was quiet 'cause we were at the Beach House

Partying hard on the crest of the new shoveled sand

As we shuffled to the beat of the smoothest jazz band

Margaritas were flowing at 8 bucks a pop

And depleting my bank account ker plippity plop

My moves were so graceful like Astaire at his best

My singing sensational—well, I was impressed

But what did I care I was free as a loon

Slippin' and a slidin' under that big ol' moon

When what to my shufflin' feet should appear

It looked like a bottle perhaps filled with good cheer

It had a cork and within a rolled up scroll

Could this be a message from some distant soul

I smashed that bottle on the nearest rock

And unrolled that scroll expecting a shock

The message was touching “to whom it may concern:

I'm stranded and dying with money to burn

Here's your chance to be rich more or less like me

Follow these instructions right to a T

Many years ago I buried a box

In the sands at this beach filled with money and stocks

It's worth 20 million perhaps even more

Better start digging if you like golden ore”

In less than a second that sand was a flyin'

I was a diggin' fool and I ain't lyin'

I tore up that beach like you wouldn't believe

Burrowed like a mole that just got a reprieve

Then the police arrived and took out a taser

And zapped me three times fast as a laser

As they hauled me away I heard someone sigh

"Life is a beach and then you die"

That's my story and I'm not gonna budge

Just gotta convince that red neck judge.