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Blogs by Chanti Niven
Emotional Vampires 11/23/2006 3:51:59 AM
What is an emotional vampire? My own definition is that it is someone who sucks you dry emotionally. No matter how positive or upbeat you may be, if you hang around with people who bring you down or who constantly seem to want to crush you, you will be negatively affected. The answer is to move away from people who do not encourage or uplift you. You don't need to be told constantly what your faults are. Most people are only too painfully aware of their own faults. Someone who really loves you will be honest with you when asked but will always be encouraging. Destructive statements usually begin with 'You always...' or 'You never...' Your past mistakes do not make you a failure and in fact they can be valuable if you adopt a positive approach to them. Many psychological tests have confirmed that people who are told they are failures, invariably struggle to make a success of their lives. We subconsciously believe whatever we're told most often. It's important that you surround yourself with people who believe in you and your abilities. People who don't point out your past failures or harp on about your shortfalls. When you are involved with such a person, it is easy to get on the defensive and to fall into the trap of fighting back in the same manner. It becomes a vicious cycle that you're unlikely to get out of.
Everybody has their bad days and we can't all be nice all of the time but if the behaviour is consistent, you need to move on. You cannot fix anyone but yourself.
