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Blogs by Chanti Niven
Like dust I'll rise. 12/16/2006 3:08:22 PM
"You may write me down in history with
your bitter twisted lies, you may trod me
in the very dirt but, still, like dust, I'll rise."
~ Maya Angelou
(A quote posted on Lasting Impressions, a creative group I started. Thanks Tami for the inspiration.) If there is one thing I've got going for me it is resilience. I've weathered many a storm, personal tragedy and heartache and come out on the other side, stronger and hopefully a little wiser. Through all of this, I've never been able to harden myself. Somehow, I remain the same sensitive spirit I always was. When someone once said to me 'You're too soft,' I replied, 'Don't mistake soft for weak.' I've gone through times in my life when I've doubted myself and I've felt insecure and unsure of myself. Knowing that I have survived a lot, encourages me to keep on going no matter what obstacles I might face. There are no guarantees in life but that we all face certain challenges and in the end we all die. Some people seem to face more in the way of obstacles and challenges than others and I've sometimes wondered why I've had to go through so much. I no longer waste my time with those pointless 'Why me?' questions. What I try to do now is ask, 'What can I learn from this?' or 'How I can avoid this from happening again?'
Like the rest of humanity in greater or lesser degrees, I'm a work in progress and right now I'm going through an extremely difficult transitional phase. I'm not too sure what the future holds for me and there are times when I become fearful. I don't believe this is abnormal given the circumstances. I've experienced radical change in the last year and have had to make huge adjustments. During this time, I've discovered things about myself that I never knew. I will always be a sensitive person but I'm learning to be more assertive. I will never allow anyone to walk all over me ever again. I'm finding my independence and although at times I walk the knife edge (see my latest poem), I have an inner conviction that all this will work out and I will ultimately find fulfillment. I believe that one of the keys to fulfillment is to find it within oneself and that is a journey I've just begun to embark upon. Nobody is going to provide it for me. A tough lesson for sure but a necessary one.
Thanks for reading my blog and for your support of my poetry and other writings. Seasons Greetings to all
