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Long overdue notes… 5/17/2008 4:08:29 AM
… Of Thanks:
To so many AD fellow authors and good friends, who have expressed their condolences on my mother’s passing, and have offered their warm, affectionate support through these difficult times. Also, to those who have taken the time to comment on those poems that have been (amazingly) “finding a way out of the maze of the mind of this poet”. Believe me, the feeling of being surrounded by your kindness, your understanding, your appreciation, and your love, has been helping me more than I can say, and it has been and will be, for a long time, akin to the sensation of being wrapped in a HUG… much like a special, totally unique QUILT: soft as silk, yielding as if it were filled with feathers like those we would imagine the wings of angels to be made of, balmy like the tender touch of skin, snug as a sheltering lap, and strong, yes, durable like true friendship, and as such, resilient and tear-proof. I am and will be wearing it around my vulnerability, but also my strength, my humility, but also my pride, my sorrow, but also my joy, my silence, but also my words, my fears, but also my courage, and along my time to grieve, but also to heal, with indescribable GRATEFULNESS.
… On Adjustment:
To the diversity of changes, the obvious and the very subtle ones, that, like so many music notes, have been composing this ever-changing symphony of life. To Joseph and to myself, on an individual scale, and then to both of us, as partners in Life, Love and Art, the last couple of years have been rather like an intense, at times frantic turning of the pages of that “musical score”, of feeling like ripping some of them off and then doing it or having the courage not to, in spite of the ink-blots, the passages we stroke out (some of them with such fury that we almost tore the paper), and the jarring dissonances – but then, of coming, also, to many passages of almost unutterable beauty and harmony, of elements of perfection brought together by an unreserved acceptance of imperfections, to movements with the passionate serenity of total balance. Through it all, we have chosen to publicly share some fragments of this ongoing composition - and some of you know that the most distressing and poignant ones were the fragments concerning, first, the long illness and then the passing of Joseph’s father, and later, the fast-developing illness and then passing of my mother. But there have been many other crucial fragments (including some subliminal to those shared ones) that we have kept undisclosed, except to each other; and, at times, we may have seemed too cool, too detached, too distant, unapproachable, even, to those around us – and, in some cases, insensitive, or apparently attaching more importance to trivialities than to what was (or should be) relevant. Well, I would certainly like to try to find a way around that cliché according to which “some feelings run much too deep”, but any witty, inspired, wise, or poetic analogy I might come up with would, in fact, convey exactly the same message – so, with my apologies for the lack of originality, I’ll simply “stick to” the cliché to explain that there are, indeed, certain emotions and sentiments that just won’t rise to a surface of visibility or audibility, and we must deal with them in the inherence of their depth within our own, and, most importantly – returning to musical parallels - in our own tempo. Again, through it all, and regarding those undisclosed fragments of our individual and joint compositions, Joseph and I have LISTENED: to each other (even through our silences) and, together, to our combined creation; but we have also been amazingly fortunate, because many LISTENED to us, too – and understood not only the true music in our silences, but also the “divertimentos” arranged and played… every time we needed a break from the seriousness of the fundamental – and ever unachieved – symphony; because of this, and most interestingly, this “note on adjustment” closes… with yet another note of thanks… that actually leaves the score open to an infinity of notes yet to come!
For now, thank you for your patience, thank you for your love, and thank you for listening!
