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Blogs by Dave Harm
One week ... lifetime of memories 12/18/2004 1:44:14 PM
This holiday season, more then a lot of others, has been "different." I can't really describe it. With the release of "Damaged Merchandise," more and more people I know are "coming out of the closet" as far as their childhood is concerned. I've heard more then a few times "Yeah, my dad was an abusive drunk." "My mom was a drunk, never abusive, just never there." I talk to wifes and ex-wifes about their drunk husbands. But, husbands with drunk wifes stay away from me. I don't why - still in their own shame or just not yet ready to admit, that there is nothing they can do. Then I wish, I could get my word out to a larger crowd. There is a message with "Damaged Merchandise," which alcoholics and their families need to hear. Its a message of hope. A message of dreams. Yeah we need to stay "real" but never forget your hopes and dreams. And while you dream, and while you hope, the hard part is, your dream... your hope... may never become reality, unless a dysfunctional marriage has ended. I hated hearing that when I sobered up, but it is a fact. Within time, the pain lessens, then you realize, they are no longer dreams... they are real. What I believe is that, sobriety needs to be first, then a marriage. And for the spouse of a drunk, serenity needs to be first, then a marriage. If you can't have sobriety or serenity, then maybe its time to move on ... alone. It saved my life.
