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THE MAN WHO WOULD (temporarily) BE PRESIDENT 7/31/2010 5:58:20 AM
From nearly the time I was born until I faked my way into eighth grade, Franklin D. Roosevelt was the President of the United States. It never occurred to me there might come a time when he would not be our charismatic leader. I thought he was immortal, like me and my dad.
Then came that awful Thursday afternoon in April 1945 when I gathered up my bundle of newspapers to sort and fold for delivery and saw the headline screaming across the front page of the Buffalo Evening News: FDR DEAD!
Roosevelt . . dead? How could that be? It was as if I were sitting in church with my parents and the minister suddenly went bug-eyed and shouted, “Go home and hide in the basement—-God is dead!”
Well, let me tell you, this was worse. If FDR was gone, so was America. And if America was gone, what hope was there left for a thirteen-year-old kid from the mean streets of the second largest city in the Empire State? The President was dead—-and all of us might as well be, also!
Of course, against all odds, we somehow managed to survive. A few of us even prospered. Life went on, saddled as we were with Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, the Bushes, and finally Barack Obama. . . . Actually, come to think of it, most of us never had it so good. Well, most of us anyway.
Now, however, the consensus seems to be that Mr. Obama is destined to serve just one term (if you can believe 1/8th of the media, which a lot of supposedly intelligent people do—-and hell’s bells, 1/8th of the media can’t be wrong! Can they?)
The wise guys in Las Vegas already have the president at even money to be defeated in 2012, and my contacts there say the odds will be that much better after the congressional and state elections of 2010 (how can the “wise guys” be that wise?)
For one whose penchant for alcohol has drastically and dangerously declined, this is a bitter pill for me to swallow. We all had such high hopes when Mr. Obama came to office. After eight years of the madding siege of bogus and acrimonious leadership, it was as if the Oval Office were suddenly inhabited by the phantasm of FDR himself! Where once we were a nation cast adrift like the Jews wandering aimlessly about Egypt, there was a new Moses in town about to split the Red Sea of our despair and take us safely home.
But they say it apparently isn’t to be. Dang gone it.
Some pundits say we have Mr. Obama to thank because we cannot defeat the nut cases in the Middle East who live only to kill us, even when he fired a general who had the audacity to help some strange magazine try to appear respectable. They say the president foolishly pushed us into the bottomless pit of unemployment and let us fall victim to a terrible economic recession, while our major industries seemed to collapse about us. He played basketball, vacationed in Maine and ate burgers with Russian diplomats while Wall Street and the banks threw a party and had their way with us as we laid back and pretended to enjoy it.
They say he crammed long overdue health care reform down our throats and let it become the law of the land—-and on top of everything else, he permitted an oil company with a foreign sounding name that sounds suspiciously like an air-rifle to spill trillions of barrels of precious crude into the Gulf of Mexico and destroy thousands of American dreams, not to mention wreck the natural resources of our pristine coastline, including scores of pelicans and sea turtles.
He even sent a new NASA administrator on a mission to reach out and assist our Muslim ‘friends’ to appreciate their vast contributions to science. (Say what?)
And look what he did to Shirley Sherrod. He fired her, then he apologized. Well, not quite. She was told to submit her resignation by a White House cabinet head who did not do diligence, and then was apologized to by everyone at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who could speak English. Even Bo barked benignly when her name was mentioned.
“I don’t think a single black person was consulted before Shirley Sherrod was fired — I mean c’mon, “ said Congressman James Clyburn of South Carolina, a temperate black lawmaker.”
“The president’s getting hurt real bad,” Clyburn told Maureen Dowd of the New York Times. “He needs some black people around him.” According to Ms. Dowd, Obama’s inner circle keeps screwing up on race: “Some people over there are not sensitive at all about race,” says Clyburn. “They really feel that the extent to which he allows himself to talk about race would tend to pigeonhole him or cost him support . . . I don’t think people elected him to disengage on race. Just the opposite.”
Now, Ms. Sherrod says she may sue the blogger who started the whole rhubarb by his alleged sloppy investigation. That may be a mistake. The erstwhile blogger may cry First Amendment abuse, and Ms. Sherrod’s deserved pound of flesh may not be worth the trouble. Her character and reputation far surpasses the uproar, and the only ones to profit by a lawsuit may be the attorneys.
Mr. Obama, inept leader that he is, this professional lawyer of no experience, this egghead who was never so much as CEO of a hot dog stand, this community-organizer who cannot even say “grace” in the family residence without a teleprompter, this pseudo-president whose only action has been to surround himself with curious cronies of questionable résumés—who in turn have only one agenda: to plummet the proletariat into the swarmy swamp of Socialism, a myopic metropolis of Marxism, the nexus of neurotic Nazism, and into the delirious depths of a dysfunctional dictatorship—should not, they say, let the doorknob hit him on his way out.
What’s worse, the only bullets with which we can defend ourselves are not being fired in Iraq and Afghanistan (nor the streets of Chicago and Detroit) but are carried in the velvet glove of the ballot box, and that is why they assure us Mr. Obama will vacate the White House in 2012 (well, actually not until January 2013, but no need to nitpick.)
Or will he? Remember, that great political historian Jon Voight tells us Obama is Muslim, not Christian; he was born not in America but in Hawaii, our last frontier ruled by a king; his middle name is Hussein, not Leroy; and he treasures a photo of Hugo Chavez in his wallet. (In sixth grade I used to carry a picture of Gloria Jean because she looked vaguely like a girl I never had nerve enough to ask if I could walk home. Hopefully, she married some idiot nerd. )
Then again, perhaps Mr. Obama is a modern-day Napoleon who will declare himself Emperor and set about to rule forever. “ . . . that the Everlasting had not fix’d his canon ‘gainst self-slaughter! O God! O God!” weeps Glenn Beck.
The archangels of Pope Palin have decreed our only hope of salvation is to rid ourselves of this despicable, derisive, diabolical deluder.
As our Founding Fathers boldly taught us, it is easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for an American to enter the kingdom of FDR. Tom and Nancy Lincoln so loved this country they sent us their son Abraham, and whosoever believes in him shall have life everlasting without slavery or habeas corpus.
The true catechism: Love of Obama is the root of all evil.
Come this fall we must shuck off the burden of Congress. We cannot eradicate the plague of a fiscal deficit created, sanctioned and augmented by Democrat greed and stupidity, but we can certainly elect a Speaker of the House and a Senate Majority Leader who do not resemble Ma and Pa Kettle.
In spite of her record of bi-partisan accomplishments, who wants a Speaker that may or may not have had a facelift? And speaking of Harry Reid, come November 2nd we will no longer have to worry about roulette wheels that may or may not have been rigged.
It’s time that Congress stopped being hamstrung by the lopsided rule that one party can outnumber another, no matter what the voters say. Ideally, there should be 145 Republicans seated in the House along with 145 Democrats and 145 Independents and assorted others who will do precisely what the Republicans say.
The Senate, of course, is a horse of a different dimension: all 100 members should be Tea-Partyers with no other agenda than someone’s betterment, preferably their own.
To accomplish this, we must convince all who voted for Barack Obama in 2008 to lock their doors, hide under their beds and stay home. That should be easy. Just tell them their vote for hope and change was nothing more than idle propaganda that never had a prayer of fruition, anyway. After all, a lowlife lawyer who was too educated and genuine for the office of the presidency in the first place rode to victory on a myth of his own creation.
Talk about a smooth talking, insincere bureaucrat—and a Socialist Marxist Nazi to boot!
Hope and change. Face life, Portia: the elections of 2010 and 2012 are our only chance for ‘hope and change.’ Get out there and save America before it is too late. Pull them levers, touch them screens, write in and misspell them names. Exercise them unalienable rights. Make them Founding Fathers proud.
Speaking of which, as Thomas Paine wrote in The Crisis, “these are the times that try men’s souls.”
