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POLL CATS 9/4/2010 5:57:57 AM
When I first became interested in politics—during the Vietnam War—I predictably studied major decisions and insights based on erudite citizen polls. If 99.2% of the population said Richard Nixon was a crook, I not only believed it, I sought ways to tell other people—not an easy chore since Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were still hiding out in garages.
Currently, however, I’m not so sure. (Not about Nixon, but about polls.)
With better than 75% of America convinced that Barack Obama is a Muslim, the entire polling industry appears to be falling apart. On top of that, there are vast percentages that claim the President is not even a U.S. citizen!
Say what? He is no more a Muslim or an alien that I! How do I know? Because he’s the President and he says so, that’s how! Plus he was born in Hawaii-—what does he have to do, plaster his birth certificate on his forehead? (Where did I hear that before?)
But hold on. Is he a Muslim? After all, he does not belong to, nor regularly attend, a church-—at least, so far as we know. He does not, like so many, wear his Christianity on his sleeve for all to see and admire. I bet he doesn’t even “tithe”, the skinflint.
Well, la-dee-da—neither do I. And I was baptized and everything!
To my knowledge, nobody considers me a Muslim (or a Buddhist, or a Rastafarian, or a Hari Krista—-or even a Mexican, especially since I don’t know more than a dozen words in Spanish.)
Watching the Emmy Awards the other night I realized how silly, preposterous, pretentious and inaccurate the polls could be. According to the Sherwood Report, 61.4% said Jimmy Fallon was neither better nor worse than the average host, but there was no indication what the “average” host was supposed to be like.
I agree he wasn’t a Billy Crystal or even a Steve Martin, but the opening musical number was almost as good as the Steve Lawrence/Sammy Davis, Jr. tribute to the Oscar losers a few years ago. Almost. Their performance scored an A+, but I’d give Fallon at least a B, no worse than a B-.
72.6% said they watched less than an hour of the show. Liars. If they tuned in at all, they watched a minimum of sixty-nine minutes. 22.3% claimed the Red Carpet preamble was terrible. Wrong. 99 and 44/100s percent of the people I know said it was horrible. Most of the outfits were ghastly, and I have heard better interviews on C-Span.
83.7% say all the right nominees wound up bona fide winners. That’s interesting because better than half the HBO winners were people I never heard of, on shows I never saw—in fact, some winners on regular and cable TV were people and shows I never heard of. (70.9% claim they never heard of “Mad Men” and 27.4% of those thought it was a show about male inmates in an asylum (in a way, it is.) 91.5% thought “Modern Family” was a magazine.)
81.3% couldn’t understand a word Ricky Gervais said, but 11.6% thought he was the best thing on the show. Only 2.2% thought the best ad-lib from the audience came from someone who thanked Gervais for “the non-alcoholic beer.”
44.3% thought that Julianna Margulies (only actors with names you can spell are allowed to win) and “The Good Wife” got robbed. 34.8% said “The Office” is still funny and should have won something.
“Glee” was supposed to have won everything in sight, but 68.6% said that although they never watched it, it got as good as it deserved.
29.4% thought Al Pacino was just okay in “The Godfather” but he was too old for the part. (85.5% thought Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the real-life godfather, was still in jail.)
We were pleased that George Clooney was given the “Bob Hope Humanitarian Award” and that it had nothing to do with “Memphis Beat,” arguably to third or fourth worst show on TV. I’m assuming you agree that “Rizzoli and Isles” ranks one or two—while Angie Harmon may be the most gorgeous drop dead actress working, her speech pattern leaves much to be desired (or their audio man drinks.) 53.7% thought Dick Wolf should have gotten a special Emmy for replacing Ms. Harmon on “Law and Order” while he still could.
17.4%, however, are now convinced that Clooney is not Cary Grant’s son, nor is he Rob Lowe’s father.
The list goes on and on, as did the show itself. Actually, it was pretty well timed to run 3 hours, and it ended right on the button. 92.6% of those polled said it was the first time anything not followed by “60 Minutes” came even close to finishing while there was still someone tuned in and drinking Bud Lite.
The bottom line is that TV’s best showcase was neither better nor worse than what its sister media/entertainment vehicles annually offer. The Oscar and the Tony Awards, the Grammy’s and sundry other Music Award shows, the Golden Globe’s, et al, will continue to illuminate their finest and most embarrassing credentials, while we continue to breathlessly tune in to escape to the Land of Unreality inhabited by our more talented (or luckier) peers.
1.3% wondered why Discovery, the History Channel, TNT, TLC, PBS and C-Span came up virtually empty. Hmmmm. .07% was curious why News, Sports and Finance were ignored (42.1% of those didn’t know the Olympics had been telecast and most think Katie Couric still hosts the “Today Show”.)
All in all, though, most of us who no longer participate in or take much stock in polls prefer the Miss America Pageant. Of course, if you ask us, 89.7% will never admit it.
By the way, to change the subject, today is opening day for the University of Georgia football season (SEC) as we host Louisiana-Lafayette (the Ragin’ Cajuns) at Sanford Stadium before 92,000+ in Athens, GA.
