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THE MINSTREL SHOW 7/30/2011 5:07:51 AM
96% of all software we use on our computers to write notes, letters, emails, articles or grocery lists has a tutorial that will assist us at every turn. But we don’t use it for one of two reasons: either we don’t know it exists, or we don’t know how to access it.
As an old minstrel show performer, I lean toward the former.
“’Scuse me, Mistuh In’erlocketor,” one of the End Men interjects, “how come we outta work?”
“’Cause minstrel shows has gone the way of the doo-doo bird, you doo-doo bird! Along wid computer tutorias. Doan y’all know nuthin?”
Case in point, the other day the resident brother-in-law was visiting, and as he sat reading TIME Magazine, he commented on an article by Joe Klein, which had to do with the host of GOP candidates hoping to unseat Barack Obama next year.
“This whole magazine,” the b-i-l complained, “is just one big editorial — no news or reporting anywhere! Just editorialing! They call THAT journalism?”
My astute wife calmly but quickly drew comparisons to NATIONAL REVIEW, THE CHRISTIAN-SCIENCE MONITOR, THE NEW AMERICAN and the FOX NEWS Channel.
Piping up, I said, “I think Joe Klein is primarily a columnist and editorial writer,” to which my wife added, “You probably think Chris Wallace is a journalist. He’s the one who called Michele Bachmann a ‘flake.’ As I recall, Jon Stewart did a pretty good number on him, but I’d be interested to see Wallace interviewed by his father!”
The b-i-l made no further comment, but I thought to myself ‘Well, I’ll never drown in a puddle of educated knowledge’ since 1.) I’m not really sure if TIME is literally a ‘news magazine’ or if it’s simply a liberal loudspeaker for the current Administration—and 2.) all I really know is, I cannot form a worthwhile opinion without first reading TIME from cover to cover.
Of course, we pour over (and thoroughly digest) THE CHRISTIAN-SCIENCE MONITOR, THE NEW AMERICAN and NATIONAL REVIEW; however, because there are numerous impressionable youngsters and relatives with undisciplined minds who frequent our abode, we rarely leave those periodicals casually lying about. We do, however, secretly watch the FOX NEWS Channel whenever Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert are unavailable and we need comic relief.
THE CHRISTIAN-SCIENCE MONITOR is a particular favorite. Despite its name, it has virtually nothing to do with religion (thank God.) It gives readers an alternative view of world events and national nuances (what Chris Wallace curiously calls ‘the other side of the news.”) We don’t learn much, but we get a kick out of it.
THE NEW AMERICAN speaks for itself. As a publication of the John Birch Society (yes, Virginia, they do still exist) it is an inoculated voice for the U.S. Constitution, as though that unique document cannot speak for itself. Its editors say, “Our goal is to hang on to the visions that made this country great, and to give superlative insight for people searching for a paleoconservative perspective” — whatever that is.
I especially like the NATIONAL REVIEW, maybe because William F. Buckley, Jr., who founded it in 1955, was one of my 2,472 idols. Who cannot help but admire a yachtsman who once wrote “sailing is like standing in a cold shower, tearing up $20 bills!”
Over the years, Buckley and his magazine ran the gamut of political anomalies, such as using the rag to define the boundaries of conservatism — and to exclude people or ideas or groups they considered unworthy of the conservative title — people like Ayn Rand, members of the John Birch Society, George Wallace, Henry Ford and other alledged anti-Semites, while being ambiguous about (of all things) white supremacy.
Buckley's dream was to upscale the respectability of the conservative movement; the magazine’s current editor, Rich Lowry, writes: “Mr. Buckley's first great achievement was to purge the American right of its kooks. He marginalized the anti-Semites, the John Birchers, the nativists and their sort.” Good for ol’ Billy; he would have loved the Tea Partiers.
I think what prompted me to write this column, though, was FOX NEWS calling Jon Stewart “a racist.” Of all the things he might be, a racist is the most absurd. I should know; I am often accused of being one myself — and I half-heartedly agree. Although I am a moderately benign racist, I plead guilty to the one thing FOX NEWS hangs its shingle on: Jon Stewart and I often tells jokes in the vernacular and accents of the protagonist.
From “Amos and Andy” impersonations to inflective “Maurice Chevalier” to “Tony Soprano’s” gutteral New Joisey threats, neither Stewart nor I can recite ethnic humor without eventually resorting to the primeval sounds that emphasize the color and/or background of our source. Does that make us racist? In my case, not professing to being a professional comedien, yes, why not? In Stewart’s case, most certainly not.
The difference is, my humor would be just as funny (or stupid) if delivered straight. Stewart’s would fall flat as Twiggy’s chest if stated as a quasi-newsman on TV (even cable.)
FOX NEWS rests its case on a joke Stewart made about Herman Cain’s admission he had not read a certain bill because it was too long. Stewart said maybe it should be written to fit on the back of a cereal box (or something as intricately involved.) In telling the story, Stewart lapsed into a parody of Cain’s “negro” speech pattern. BFD. If I had a dime for everytime I took on a “Tobacco Road” accent when relating a side-splitting incident experienced while being patted down by a TSA explosive expert, I could, in all likelihood. afford HBO added to my TV experience!
Have you ever noticed how similar the ‘white trash’ idiom is to the unschooled black’s — and vice versa?
By the way, if you have to ask who is Herman Cain, none of this matters — not that it does, anyway. The point is, FOX NEWS, which already has much to demean it, seems to have met its match by attacking a single though powerful entity in Comedy Central’s star performer.
While Jon Stewart has a loyal but fragmented following of frenzied but fanatical fools, FOX NEWS, with its bastion of pretty people and uninformed talking heads, has the gall of distress and the deep pockets of determination to make much ado of nothing, while brewing a tempest in a tea cup that seems to be looking for a window to toss its pot out of (I love mixed metaphors, don’t you?)
It’s a safe bet Stewart will have the last laugh in Januay 2012 while FOX NEWS is busy scraping off racist “Honkies For Herman” bumper stickers from the Mercedes-Benzes of its grumpy conservative junkies. Of course, Michele Bachmann will be nowhere in sight; she’ll be standing in a cold shower, learning how to pronounce “chutzpah.”
