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Robert A. Mills

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GIRL o’ WAR
11/19/2011 6:16:43 AM

As CEO and Creative Director of one of Western New York’s most prestigious advertising agencies, it was my job to come up with innovative, original, eye-catching and results oriented ad campaigns for TV and radio.

In the autumn of 2011 the Chevrolet Division of General Motors celebrated its 100th anniversary, but it was in the spring of 1986 that I devised an ad for the Chevrolet Caprice Classic that would prove not only clever and different, but would elevate my client’s dealership to new heights of success.

You see, I was the prototype for Don Draper (in most benign respects) long before the idea for MAD MEN fermented in Matthew Weiner’s artistic subconscious.

In those days, my oldest daughter and her husband owned a large spread in Penfield, NY where they raised their two kids. The boy grew up to become an Air Force Lt. Col. with service in Iraq and Afghanastan. The girl is Director of Conferences at Houghton College; both are the first of my numerous grandchildren, which has to be their greatest claim to fame.

The daughter and son-in-law’s nearest neighbors, Bud and Holly Ambrose, were horse people with a stable of several nags; one of those was ‘Girl o’ War,’ an old gray mare ridden by a number of anxious children and their overweight parents.

My idea was to film a 30-second TV ad depicting a new 1987 Chevrolet Caprice Classic racing like the wind across an open field, while ‘Girl o’ War’ ran alongside, the film adjusted just enough to show the power and speed of the car was equal—if not superior—to that of a ‘race horse.’ Of course, I would be aboard ‘Girl o’ War,’ riding furiously and narrating the epic as it unfolded.

Fancying myself an expert equestrian, we easily ran through ten or twelve ‘takes,’ any one of which would have been adequate. But I was still not satisfied. “Let’s do one more!” I shouted to the crew from my lofty perch atop the Western saddle.

“I think y’all got more’n nuff!” shouted back Holley Ambrose, the mare’s mistress, who was watching from a fence outside the pasture’s perimeter. “Ol’ ‘War’s’ had nuff fer one day! Besides, it’s her oats n’ barley time!” She said all this while chewing on a strand of hay and sounding like Minnie Pearl.

I ignored her. When the camera was ready for a repeat performance, I shouted, “Roll ‘em!” and off we went.

“Y’all’re gonna be sorry!” Holley accurately predicted.

The camera exposed only ten feet of film before I realized ‘Girl o’ War’ hadn’t moved a muscle. Being an accomplished horseman, I dug my heels into her ribs and shouted “Giddy Yup!” — she instinctively bucked up, and I rolled backwards out of the saddle, landing with a thud on my head, my left foot still trapped in the stirrup — as ‘Girl o’ War’ made a bee-line for the barn and her bucket of barley, dragging me all the way, bouncing my limp torso over rocks and ruts.

I don’t know if we had 9-11 back then, but by the time the ambulance arrived, I had regained consciousness; as it eventually turned out, ‘take’ number six, after careful editing, became the finished product. The night I accepted the Clio (in my dreams,) I had to be helped up the ramp. I think my wheelchair got snagged near the top.

Long retired from the rigors of advertising, I now live in metro Atlanta. . . .MAD MEN, by the way, will begin its final three seasons in January, but before it’s over, Don Draper’s son (portrayed by a 15-year old actor) will be six years old. Jon Hamm, again cast as Draper, will direct the 2012 opener; he is, reportedly, anxious to be done with the series so he can concentrate on “a real career.”

The show is scheduled to wrap in 2014. I, for one, will miss it. Next to the Kentucky Derby, it’s my favorite TV program.

Copyright©2011 by Robert A. Mills, all rights reserved

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