Blogs by Robert A. Mills on AuthorsDen.com

AuthorsDen.com Join | Login

Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS AUTHORS BOOKS SAMPLE CHAPTERS AUDIOBOOKS eBOOKS STORIES ARTICLES POETRY BLOGS NEWS VIDEOS SUCCESS TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors: Myra Darwish, iGlenda Bixler, i Armand, iDarryl Jenkins, iOdin odin@aflx.com, iMargaret Evans, iAnita Shaw, iTom Kitt, iRobert Wood, iSusan Smith, i

Home > Blogs

Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Robert A. Mills

Follow Me

· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages

· 7 Titles
· 7 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Member Since: Aug, 2001

Robert A. Mills, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Blogs by Robert A. Mills

GOODBYE!
12/31/2011 7:04:39 AM

A year from now, according to the Mayan calendar and sundry Nostradamus’s ponderings, interpretations of New Testament revelations, certain passages in the Koran, the decodings of Brad Meltzer and the History Channel, not to mention various rants of wild-eyed preachers, the world is supposed to come in an end. On December 21, 2012.

Gee, assuming they are right, we should maybe get our affairs in order!

If you do take stock in what they say, we are most likely to expire by starvation and draught. Foodstuff will suddenly diminish to the point of non-existence, and potable water will evaporate virtually overnight. We should survive about three days without sustenance before we go stark raving mad.

I can’t wait.

Never again will we have to fight off sleep while faithfully watching the Waterford crystal ball or bruised peach drop. Or being sadly uncomfortable hearing poor Dick Clark strain to wish us a huavptynoughears!

Assuming there is a degree of veracity in these predictions, why should I send in the exorbitant premium on my life insurance policy, due July 1st? Who will be around the collect the benefit on December 22? Who will pay it to my heirs? Like a vapor, we are all going to go poof, anyway.

Come to think of it, why bother sending in Federal or State income tax returns? No one will come after us if we don’t!

In fact, why bother with anything at all, like birthdays and anniversaries? Even showing up for annual physicals? Mortgages or credit card payments? Holidays? Vacations? Forget it!

Wait a minute. Maybe a vacation, a holiday, is just what we need. Why not book a trip to, say, the Greek Isles, my wife’s most desired destination? A trip around the world, a luxury cruise is called for, in a top deck suite, aboard, say, the Empress of the Seas? What do we care what it costs? We will never pay for it, anyway! Charge it on American Express or Visa!

Then, when December 21 is imminent, we can just sit back and say “So what? Sue me!”

Just think . . . It’s almost all over. Man, we have really lived! We have done everything we set out to do, and it didn’t cost so much as a shilling! And now it is all over.

We have seen the Pyramids, the sunset on the Nile, the Great Wall of China, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty, Victoria Falls, the Hermitage, the snows of Kilimanjaro, the World War II Memorial, fat and grotesque women beating laundry on rocks along the shore while their kids frolic in the dirty water of the Ganges, the Sydney Opera House, the Great Barrier Reef, Mt. Everest, tobogganers challenging the Swiss Alps, the fiords of Sweden, Stonehenge, the Vatican, the Wailing Wall, Niagara Falls, the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor, the blow hole on Kauai . . . Man, we have seen it all!

Now, what we have to do is simply lie down and die. It is, or soon will be, December 21, 2012. We’re ready.

I can see it now. I have gone to bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. My eyes are closed. I’m all set. Ready, willing and able.

Waiting

Waiting.

And waiting.

Nothing is happening. The clock on the bureau strikes twelve-oh-one. I am still here. My stomach is growling and my tongue is as thick as the pillow beneath my head. There is a pile of bills and collection notices on my desk. The IRS is pounding at the door.

I hear my wife off in the distance. “Rah-bert!” she calls out, stretching each syllable into the moaning whine of a lost loon. “You gonna go to bed without eating? You sick or something?”

Goddamn Mayans! Prophets! TV! Preachers! Liars, all of them! Tomorrow is the 22nd—and I have not bought a single Christmas present! No tree, no lights! Nuthin! God help us all!

Anyway, Hav-a-Happy New Year! If you can! There is still time!

Copyright©2011 by Robert A. Mills, all rights reserved

Comments (1)

More Blogs by Robert A. Mills
• LINKLETTER - Friday, January 30, 2015
• HOUSE - Wednesday, January 21, 2015
• POT - Sunday, January 18, 2015
• LINKLETTER - Wednesday, January 14, 2015
• ALS - Sunday, January 11, 2015
• GEORGIA 11 - Thursday, January 8, 2015
• GEORGIA - Wednesday, January 7, 2015
• SUPERMAN PT. 11 - Saturday, January 3, 2015
• SUPERMAN PT. 1 - Wednesday, December 31, 2014
• XMAS - Sunday, December 28, 2014
• PBS - Wednesday, December 24, 2014
• BICUSPIDS - Wednesday, December 17, 2014
• STEPS - Saturday, December 13, 2014
• MONDAY - Thursday, December 11, 2014
• MONDAY - Thursday, December 11, 2014
• WEEK - Sunday, December 7, 2014
• SBOW PT. 11-Thursday Dec, 4, 2014 - Friday, December 5, 2014
• COSHOCTON - Saturday, November 29, 2014
• SNOW - Wednesday, November 26, 2014
• 22nd - Saturday, November 22, 2014
• OLD - Wednesday, November 19, 2014
• PHILIP - Saturday, November 15, 2014
• OLD - Wednesday, November 12, 2014
• [POINTS - Saturday, November 8, 2014
• NORVIEW - Tuesday, November 4, 2014
• NORVIEW - Tuesday, November 4, 2014
• BALLOON - Saturday, November 1, 2014
• GENES - Wednesday, October 29, 2014
• CONCORDE ll - Saturday, October 25, 2014
• NEW JERSEY - Wednesday, October 22, 2014
• CLEAN - Saturday, October 18, 2014
• SOLUTION - Wednesday, October 15, 2014
• RUNNINGBACK – SAT – Oct 11 - Saturday, October 11, 2014
• PART TWO of FLORENTINE - Saturday, October 4, 2014
• CONCORDE - Saturday - Saturday, October 4, 2014
• FLORENTINE - Wed - Part One - Wednesday, October 1, 2014
• MEYHODITS - Saturday, September 27, 2014
• SPENCERPORT - Wednesday, September 24, 2014
• ELLIE - Saturday, September 20, 2014
• BLANK - Wednesday, September 17, 2014
• JOAN - Wednesday, September 10, 2014
• BIRDS - Saturday, September 6, 2014
• NAPOLEON - Wednesday, September 3, 2014
• NPR - Saturday, August 30, 2014
• ALS - Wednesday, August 27, 2014
• 2 - Saturday, August 23, 2014
• 70! - Wednesday, August 20, 2014
• USSR - Saturday, August 16, 2014
• MOSQUE - Wednesday, August 13, 2014
• HANDS - Saturday, August 9, 2014
• TEETH - Wednesday, August 6, 2014
• COVENTRY - Saturday, August 2, 2014
• BICHON - Wednesday, July 30, 2014
• PLS - Saturday, July 26, 2014
• HOCKEY - Saturday, July 19, 2014
• WXIA - Wednesday, July 16, 2014
• SAM - Saturday, July 12, 2014
• FOOTBALL - Wednesday, July 9, 2014
• AUNTIE - Saturday, July 5, 2014
• FAME - Wednesday, July 2, 2014
• JACKIE - Saturday, June 28, 2014
• WILL - Wednesday, June 25, 2014
• BRIT - Saturday, June 21, 2014
• HOLCOMB-Wed-June 18, 2014- - Wednesday, June 18, 2014
• PREMATURE - June 14, 2014 - Saturday, June 14, 2014
• MAYO - Saturday, June 7, 2014
• SHAW - Wednesday, June 4, 2014
• LEXOPHILES - May 31, 2014 - Saturday, May 31, 2014
• RED - Wednesday, May 28, 2014
• berle - Saturday, May 24, 2014
• HALO - Wednesday, May 21, 2014
• MINIE- May 17, 2014 - Saturday, May 17, 2014
• CHRISTMAS - MAY 14, 2014 (Wed)) - Wednesday, May 14, 2014
• BIRDS - May 10 - Saturday, May 10, 2014
• APRIL - May 7, 2014 - Wednesday, May 7, 2014
• FRANCES & FRIENDS - May 3 - Saturday, May 3, 2014
• TEAPOT - Saturday, April 26, 2014
• SKIERS - Saturday, April 19, 2014
• FDR - Tuesday, April 15, 2014
• WIZARD - Saturday, April 5, 2014
• ELEVEN – March 22, 2014 (edited) - Wednesday, April 2, 2014
• DUKE - Saturday, March 29, 2014
• ELEVEN - Saturday, March 22, 2014
• GOBBY - Sunday, March 16, 2014
• CONFESSION - Saturday, March 1, 2014
• DRAGON - Saturday, February 22, 2014
• KUERIG + FURTHERMORE II + FURTHERMORE III - Saturday, February 15, 2014
• CATHY - Saturday, February 8, 2014
• OMAHA + FURTHERMORE - Saturday, February 1, 2014
• LINCOLN - Saturday, January 25, 2014
• MATH - Saturday, January 18, 2014
• WHAT? - Saturday, January 11, 2014
• PIG - Saturday, January 4, 2014
• NANA - Saturday, December 28, 2013
• JEWS - Saturday, December 21, 2013
• LUCIFER - Saturday, December 14, 2013
• PEARL - Saturday, December 7, 2013
• CARILLON - Saturday, November 30, 2013
• ASSASSINATION - Sunday, November 24, 2013
• VETERANS - Saturday, November 16, 2013
• ABSCESSED - Saturday, November 9, 2013
• AGENDA & WHOLESALE - Saturday, November 2, 2013
• HEADLINES - Saturday, October 26, 2013
• OAHU - Saturday, October 12, 2013
• BAD - Saturday, October 5, 2013
• MATH - Saturday, September 28, 2013
• YARD - Saturday, September 21, 2013
• ENGLISH - Saturday, September 14, 2013
• ECSTACY - Saturday, September 7, 2013
• LABOR - Saturday, August 31, 2013
• SPORTS - Saturday, August 24, 2013
• FAIR - Sunday, August 18, 2013
• PANIC - Saturday, August 10, 2013
• JEFFERSON - Saturday, August 3, 2013
• GERTE - Saturday, July 27, 2013
• GRACE - Saturday, July 20, 2013
• PLS - Saturday, July 13, 2013
• BROOKS - Saturday, July 6, 2013
• DVDs - Saturday, June 29, 2013
• WEDDING & SCOTT - Saturday, June 22, 2013
• FREEZER - Saturday, June 15, 2013
• BASILIO - Saturday, June 8, 2013
• CARUSO - Saturday, June 1, 2013
• EXPERT - Saturday, May 25, 2013
• CANTANKEROUS - Saturday, May 18, 2013
• BOATS - Saturday, May 11, 2013
• BALANCE - Saturday, May 4, 2013
• USPS - Saturday, April 27, 2013
• TAXES - Saturday, April 20, 2013
• AUDITION - Saturday, April 13, 2013
• NASHVILLE - Saturday, April 6, 2013
• BOXER - Saturday, March 30, 2013
• COLUMNS - Monday, March 25, 2013
• VIETNAM - Saturday, March 16, 2013
• ΣAM - Saturday, March 9, 2013
• WHOA! - Saturday, March 2, 2013
• TWO - Saturday, February 23, 2013
• QUITTER - bonus - Tuesday, February 19, 2013
• GHOSTS - Saturday, February 16, 2013
• VALENTINE - Wednesday, February 13, 2013
• FBI - Saturday, February 9, 2013
• WOOLLEY - Saturday, February 2, 2013
• GRUMPY - Saturday, January 26, 2013
• FORMAL - Saturday, January 19, 2013
• PATTY - Saturday, January 12, 2013
• OFFENDED - Saturday, January 5, 2013
• LOVE - Saturday, December 29, 2012
• CHRISTMAS - Wednesday, December 26, 2012
• PEPE - Saturday, December 22, 2012
• TIME - Saturday, December 15, 2012
• TIME - Saturday, December 15, 2012
• UGA - Saturday, December 8, 2012
• MASS - Saturday, December 1, 2012
• SLF - Saturday, November 24, 2012
• THANKSGIVING- a bonus column - Wednesday, November 21, 2012
• ASSASSINATION - Saturday, November 17, 2012
• POLL - Saturday, November 10, 2012
• YOGI - Wednesday, November 7, 2012
• VOTE - Saturday, November 3, 2012
• REACH - Saturday, October 27, 2012
• WASTELAND - Saturday, October 20, 2012
• 58% - Saturday, October 13, 2012
• WACKO - Saturday, October 6, 2012
• REVIST - Thursday, October 4, 2012
• DEBATE - An addendum - Wednesday, October 3, 2012
• CRASH - Saturday, September 29, 2012
• VEEP - Saturday, September 22, 2012
• BUGLE - Saturday, September 15, 2012
• DELTA - Saturday, September 8, 2012
• ANNIVERSARY - Saturday, September 1, 2012
• INCA DINKA DO - Saturday, August 25, 2012
• METH - Saturday, August 18, 2012
• PHELPS - Saturday, August 11, 2012
• UPDATE EXTRA - Wednesday, August 8, 2012
• CHICKEN - Saturday, August 4, 2012
• OLYMPICS - a review - Tuesday, July 31, 2012
• SUMMERTIME - Saturday, July 28, 2012
• SHOOT! - Saturday, July 21, 2012
• PUN - Saturday, July 14, 2012
• DECISION - Saturday, July 7, 2012
• FREE - Saturday, June 30, 2012
• EXTRA! - Thursday, June 28, 2012
• ANNIVERSARY - Saturday, June 23, 2012
• REHEARSAL - Saturday, June 16, 2012
• BELMONT - Saturday, June 9, 2012
• 1% - Saturday, June 2, 2012
• DERIVATIVES - Saturday, May 26, 2012
• MEDICARE - Saturday, May 19, 2012
• CRIME! - Saturday, May 12, 2012
• POTTER - Saturday, May 5, 2012
• BUCKHOUSE - Saturday, April 28, 2012
• SOX! - Saturday, April 21, 2012
• SOL - Saturday, April 14, 2012
• CONTEST! - Saturday, April 7, 2012
• JUSTICE! - Saturday, March 31, 2012
• SUITS! - Saturday, March 24, 2012
• BOBBYS - Saturday, March 17, 2012
• NUNDA FUN DAYS – PT II - Saturday, March 10, 2012
• NUNDA FUN DAYS - PART 1 - Saturday, March 3, 2012
• HUTSON IS ONE! - Thursday, February 23, 2012
• TôT OU TARD! - Saturday, February 18, 2012
• MINE! - Saturday, February 11, 2012
• SOUP! - Saturday, February 4, 2012
• BUCK STOP - Saturday, January 28, 2012
• FOLLIES - Saturday, January 21, 2012
• MISFITS - Saturday, January 14, 2012
• MOHS - Saturday, January 7, 2012
• GOODBYE! - Saturday, December 31, 2011
• CITY SLICKERS -- Week of Dec 24 - Saturday, December 24, 2011
• HEADLINES - Saturday, December 17, 2011
• FIRE! - Saturday, December 10, 2011
• YEP, THE SKY IS FALLING! - Saturday, December 3, 2011
• HOBNAIL BOOTS - Saturday, November 26, 2011
• GIRL o’ WAR - Saturday, November 19, 2011
• CAIN IS NOT ABEL - Saturday, November 12, 2011
• JOHNNY CAN’T READ - Saturday, November 5, 2011
• HOLY SMOKE! - Saturday, October 29, 2011
• CELL PHONE - Saturday, October 22, 2011
• 60 MINUTES - Saturday, October 15, 2011
• BANKS CLOSED - Saturday, October 8, 2011
• ANNUAL PHYSICAL - Saturday, October 1, 2011
• A T W IN 80 MINUTES - Saturday, September 24, 2011
• HUTSON! - Saturday, September 17, 2011
• A TIME TO REMEMBER - Saturday, September 10, 2011
• TOMB AT ARLINGTON - Saturday, September 3, 2011
• GUNFIGHT AT DODGE CITY - Saturday, August 27, 2011
• NOTHNAGLE - Saturday, August 20, 2011
• A CLUTTERED BELFRY - Saturday, August 13, 2011
• CFS, FOR SHORT - Saturday, August 6, 2011
• THE MINSTREL SHOW - Saturday, July 30, 2011
• BIRTHDAY BOY RIDES (MARTA) AGAIN - Saturday, July 23, 2011
• KNOCK, KNOCK! WHO’S THERE? DEATH! - Saturday, July 16, 2011
• COMMENCEMENT - Saturday, July 9, 2011
• 234th 4th OF JULY - Saturday, July 2, 2011
• MIDNIGHT RIDE OF BOORTZ/DUPREE - Saturday, June 25, 2011
• OH, MY PAPA (& MAMA, TOO) . . . - Saturday, June 18, 2011
• ROLLING STONES - Saturday, June 11, 2011
• I DOUBLE D’AIR YA! - Saturday, June 4, 2011
• WOW—SUM BEACH - Monday, May 30, 2011
• GRAMP ON THE TOWN - Saturday, May 21, 2011
• THE UNSOCIABLE NETWORK - Saturday, May 14, 2011
• DING DONG, THE WICKED SUMBITCH IS DEAD - Saturday, May 7, 2011
• KATE PLUS MATE - Saturday, April 30, 2011
• GOP IS TRUMPED - Monday, April 25, 2011
• SNIFFING JOCKS IN ATLANTA - Saturday, April 16, 2011
• BOEHNER BLINKED - Saturday, April 9, 2011
• ROY ROGERS - Saturday, April 2, 2011
• SWEAT MORE, BLEED LESS - Saturday, March 26, 2011
• HE STILL DESERVES BETTER - Saturday, March 19, 2011
• AFTRA & EARTHQUAKES - Saturday, March 12, 2011
• ALEX IN WONDERLAND - Saturday, March 5, 2011
• THE OSCARS - 2011 - Wednesday, March 2, 2011
• FIRST BIRTHDAY, PART THREE - Thursday, February 24, 2011
• FIRST BIRTHDAY, PART II - Tuesday, February 22, 2011
• MY FIRST BIRTHDAY - Saturday, February 19, 2011
• IDES OF FEB, MINUS ONE DAY - Saturday, February 12, 2011
• FUN AT THE ICE PALACE - Saturday, February 5, 2011
• VACATION FROM HELL - Saturday, January 29, 2011
• BARBERSTOWN CASTLE - Saturday, January 22, 2011
• TRYING TO TAKE TUCSON – a bonus blog - Wednesday, January 19, 2011
• THE “BOBBYS” - Saturday, January 15, 2011
• POLITICS 101 - Saturday, January 8, 2011
• THE SNOWS OF KILIMANGEORGIA - Saturday, January 1, 2011
• WRITER'S CRAMP - Saturday, December 25, 2010
• BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY - Saturday, December 18, 2010
• PATTY ROBERTS, Part Two - Wednesday, December 15, 2010
• SECRET SANTA - Saturday, December 11, 2010
• PATTY ROBERTS - Thursday, December 9, 2010
• GETTING MY GOAT(EE) - Saturday, December 4, 2010
• IN FLIMFLAMS FIELDS . . . - Saturday, November 27, 2010
• PLYMOUTH ROCKS - Saturday, November 20, 2010
• LACED FOR ACTION - Saturday, November 13, 2010
• PEER PRESSURE - Saturday, November 6, 2010
• POLL CATS - Saturday, October 30, 2010
• FRIENDS - Saturday, October 23, 2010
• MY COUSIN DOUGIE - Saturday, October 16, 2010
• LOBSTER POTTED - Sunday, October 10, 2010
• A PRECIOUS GOLDEN BOBBY - Thursday, September 30, 2010
• THE KING IS DEAD (or at least in his throes) - Saturday, September 25, 2010
• STAND PAT - Saturday, September 18, 2010
• EGGS ROSAKOVIA - Saturday, September 11, 2010
• POLL CATS - Saturday, September 4, 2010
• KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE - Saturday, August 28, 2010
• (Bonus Blog) BUT WHO’S COUNTING? - Wednesday, August 25, 2010
• PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS - Saturday, August 21, 2010
• LUCKY STRIKE GREEN - Saturday, August 14, 2010
• AMERICARE vs. OBAMACARE - Saturday, August 7, 2010
• THE MAN WHO WOULD (temporarily) BE PRESIDENT - Saturday, July 31, 2010
• THE WEDDING - Saturday, July 24, 2010
• BUTTERFLIES ARE HAPPY - Saturday, July 17, 2010
• HATTERS ARE MAD - Saturday, July 10, 2010
• WHAT DOES THE BOSTON TEA PARTY AND THE REPUBLICAN TEA PARTY HAVE IN COMMON? - Friday, July 2, 2010
• MILQUETOAST HEADLINES - Saturday, June 26, 2010
• JAMIE DUPREE DESERVES BETTER - Saturday, June 19, 2010
• WHAT BARACK OBAMA AND HELEN THOMAS HAVE IN COMMON - Saturday, June 12, 2010
• GRANDNIECE LEIGH IS OFF TO HONDURAS - Saturday, June 5, 2010
• MEMORIAL HOLE-IN-ONE - Saturday, May 29, 2010
• GRANDNIECE EMILY GRADUATES - Wednesday, May 26, 2010
• THE MOON IS ROQUEFORT - Saturday, May 22, 2010
• LENO VS. O’BRIEN – TEMPEST IN A TV POT - Saturday, May 15, 2010