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Blogs by Robert A. Mills
REACH 10/27/2012 5:31:31 AM
Despite having met many celebrities over the years, I recall one that came into my life under most unusual circumstances. It was in the late ‘80s when Nature called with urgent discomfort when I was in Chicago talking on the phone with my old TV sidekick Tom Decker. He was then working for the National Safety Council, and I was between planes at O’Hare Airport, bound for Honolulu for the 197th time.
“Excuse me, Tom, but I gotta hung up and make it to the Men’s Room.”
Unbelievably, there was only one stall in the Men’s Room in the Admiral’s Club at O’Hare, and — of course — it was occupied. Nervously pacing outside, I could hear the occupant rattling newspaper pages within.
“Excuse me,” I called out. “But if you’re just reading the paper, I really need to use the john.”
“Sorry,” the culprit replied. “Be out in a minute.”
Thirty seconds later the stall door opened, and out stepped Senator George McGovern. Needless to say, we instantly became we became paper rattling buddies.
I was in the car last Sunday morning when I heard on the radio the senator has passed away. I was momentarily overcome by a sudden groaning sensation in my bowels. But of greater importance, I was reminded of one of George’s favorite quotes from Carl Sandburg’s great biography, one I wished he had used during in his campaign against Richard Nixon:
“Mr. Douglas, I believe you could go a long way toward the formation of a perfect union by pressing your two lips to my ass.” The thought occurred, this would have been an appropriate zinger for President Obama to also have used during his recent “town hall debate”.
Anyway, on another matter, 30+ years experience makes me suspect a TV affiliate here in Atlanta has serious management problems. Somebody at the helm seems to be steering the ship on a disastrous course from ennui to tedium, to paraphrase Thomas Heggen.
The only gauge I have is the “local news”; network programming is a slot undertaken and overseen, for better or worse, by the networks, and the affiliate (although they will deny it) is nothing more than the ‘messenger’. As such, it is usually the last one shot.
It may have begun earlier, but the first casualty was the chief meteorologist. He was replaced by a fellow from out of town (in broadcasting, anyone from out of town is considered an “expert”). It was obvious that if the first guy had to be canned, his occasional backup was a more suitable and knowledgeable replacement. That poor bloke is still relegated to the #2 position, which is ok if that is his choice (I doubt it is).
The thought occurs: if the meteorologist is gone and replaced, why is a hapless sort still there doing “sports”? This poor fellow, a former football defenseman with his rapidly deteriorating, unintelligible speech defect, has assumed the role of a clown: all the more reason not to inflict him on unsuspecting viewers — not when others are in the wings ready, willing and quite able to take over. Flannel mouth? Sports Director? Are you kidding me? Get real.
Although I am not sure, maybe management thinks sports is just for Braves, Falcons, Hawks, GA Tech, GSU, KSU, UGA and high school fans — all of which are supposedly in a vast minority!
Atlanta is supposed to be a “Big League” city. It is, is it not? Why then is all of sports crammed into a minute or so, while the weather is given what seems like repetitious eons?
The main fault lies with the anchors: namely, the two at 6 and 11PM, their asinine editorial comments and personal asides notwithstanding. Both, ironically, have certain undeniable qualities, such as good looks, cleanliness, godliness, bad English being their primary language, etc., which leads me to believe the true criminals are management — the directors, writers and producers, plus other assorted front office wannabees and nevercouldbees.
For example, why are these anchors permitted to incessantly talk over each other and take on the aura of “good-time-Charlies”, finding humor in just about everything? Their inane, simultaneous giggling and laughter is hardly professional, and the newly acquired weatherman is the worst offender of all.
That sort of personality-inspired ‘hale-and-hearty-glad-handed-show-offishness’ died out in the 1980s; we thought it was gone forever (as it should be). Obviously, we were wrong.
A lot of people wonder why a prime anchor was suddenly sent to the graveyard shift when he seemed to be the only genuine article left on staff, now that his former co-host has hit the ‘jolly-Nellie-trail’. And what reason was ever given for a certain well-spoken fellow to be used as an occasional reporter when he was such a good interim anchor?
The rationale put forth by the affiliate is that they give you news you can use, news that makes a difference, makes you think that Atlanta and all of Georgia is a better place to live. Better, more comprehensive local news? Yeah, right. Hockey pucks!
“News” is where you go to find out who did what to whom — and not necessisarily why. If it bleeds, burns, or burgles, run with it. Otherwise, be prepared to enjoy a dubious position. And treat each story as your last.
Why did they go looking for a sub-par anchor when they have highly qualified people already on staff?
Luckily, another channel still has a true news philosophy: special kudos to Justin Farmer and Jovita Moore; they and the Channel 2 staff exemplify what most of us expect in a newscast, despite their occasional lapses of good taste with poor, incoherent writing. At least, they play it straight.
(By the way, the weekenders on the subject affiliate are also very, very good; why they are not the weekday “regulars” is a consummation devoutly to be wished.)
The other affiliate, however, has become a depository for the derelict group’s hand-me-downs of writers, directors and producers. It is as if there were an abundance of used Xerox machines flooding the vast wasteland so that the other channels might have a cheap way to become clones. Between them, there are daily aired at least a handful of badly composed and unfinished stories that make little or no sense.
“The assault took place at the corner of Taxidome and Gill Streets in Wyecliff County, near Dunfree, in Northeast Atlanta,” they report. Where the hell are Taxidome and Gill Streets? And Wyecliff County and Dunfree? Northeast Atlanta? Be specific! At least, gimme a landmark! Or shoot some film of a recognizable area! 99% of the audience is in the dark!
What can we do about it? Sadly, nothing. It is the plague of every major market in America. There will always be one or two stations that try to be different, stations that invariably fail — so all the interested viewer can do is move away to Pumpkin Hook, Ohio where only a couple TV outlets come in (one of which is probably PBS), giving as limited a choice as possible. There, thank heaven, nothing is within reach.
Making a difference in local news? Yes, everyplace except on the TV screen!
And what are these “headlines” the local yokels stick at the bottom of the picture while the anchors are all talking at once? Not only are they distracting, they are too small (and gone too soon) to be readable. I am
surprised Brian Williams allows it. But then, why should he care? Everyone is waiting for Diane Sawyer, anyway.
The entire crew at the befuddled affiliate can thank their lucky stars I am well retired; it would take a king’s ransom to get me back in the saddle again. Otherwise, everyone over 60 and under 40 there would be fired; I would start from scratch and within a year bring the place back again to its rightful position. It would not be difficult. They already have everything (except the right stuff).
I would at least make the operation view-able.
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