The day I’ve been dreading has finally come.
Time for a test that isn’t any fun.

I’m told to strip from the waist down.
I check to see if anyone is around.

Guess they didn’t want me to take off my top.
Probably because everything would flop.

I’d like to at least keep on my shoes.
Maybe ALL my dignity I wouldn’t lose.

Now they want my feet in stirrups.
I hope I don’t go into hysterics.

“What, you want me to scoot down some more?”
“If I do that, I’ll land on the floor!”

Oh no, they’re getting the instruments out.
Will it do any good if I shout?

Do they really think that thing will go in?
OOPS, maybe not, I can see them grin!

Being in the spotlight should be a blast.
But where they’re shining it, I’ll just pass.

I don’t think they’d know my face.
They’ve only seen me below the waist.

Ordeal finally over, I’m allowed to sit up.
I feel like I’ve given birth to a truck.

And now I have a catch in my hip.
So off the table I nearly flip.

I finally manage to stand up straight.
Once out of that room, I don’t hesitate.

Set up another date, same time next year.
Heard everyone in the office cheer!

All I can say is, I gave it my best.
I hope I passed that darned Pap test!