Today In The News (poem) by Ray Hamilton { The Great Canadian Buzzard } on AuthorsDen

Today In The News
by Ray Hamilton { The Great Canadian Buzzard } → (All Poetry by Ray Hamilton { The Great Canadian Buzzard })
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Another One From The Dueling Poets Series

So called Buzz Supporters,rounded up
Heck the second one, didn't even have a cup

Debra Bateman thinks Buzz being in jail is a hoot
her last known response was "thanks for the laughs"
We're sure Debra bought some BBQ tickets
she's not saying, but we did the math

Patrick Granfors has said the Canadian big birds,
are such bad shots they'll be lucky to hit the grass
Although he's still hoping for the BBQ I hear
We're pretty sure it's because of the free beer

Mouth moved the Buzz to a new location
We thought she was just taking him on a vacation
He was strapped to the grill of a semi truck
The truck was driven by the Rubber Duck
AspiringAngel riding shotgun, we wish
the Buzzard the very best of luck

No word yet on his where abouts
But the bill collectors will find Buzz no doubt
Uncertain where the Mouth might have him
Although our Canadian big birds are still gearing up
for another beer drop and also six dozen Slim Jim's

No one has heard from the Ed brothers,
tiger lily , or even their Ma
I believe it's early yet for Marty Graw?

Now Goofy
With A Special Holiday Report

Buzzard Day Is Coming !!

It's a new Canadian holiday
In the U.S.jail Buzz must stay
One can't live on beer and burgers alone
So send some desert, till we can get him home

Yes Pies and cakes will do just fine
But it's chocolate and candy, that's on this birds mind

Happy Buzzard Day Everyone!!

Today's news, brought to you by

Buzzards delight chocolate cakes
File baked within, to help any jail break
Please hurry, for the bird just can't wait

Buzz Supporter track shoes
Loose that pesky warden every time

Bulls eye bird droppings
Even an amateur can hit the mark
No Shit!!

Buzz Supporter T shirts
Comes with a very sturdy tin cup
Warden provides a room with every shirt
Still somehow we are way over stocked

And As Always
The Save Our Buzzard Foundation
Almost all money goes to freeing the Buzzard
OK some of the money

Hey!! these commercials aren't cheap

Reviewed by Lesa Gay (Reader)

Reviewed on August 31, 2009

Ohhhh your reporter friend is so right! Buzzard Day IS comming and it isn't going to be pretty. This was a real hoot! Graphics really cute and your sponsers? Well what can I say? Enjoyed my friend. ROTFL

Hugs,
Lesa

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors

Reviewed on August 29, 2009

Fun stuff. Patrick

Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G

Reviewed on August 25, 2009

Interesting this is!
Got me smiling! Happy Buzzards Day Ray, and to those who Celebrate!
Keep it Light....
If I can make it, I will make my famous Chewy Chocolate chip nut Brownies, and have chopped cherries in em'! They are to die for!

WRITE ON!
Blessings and Peace, Warrior Purple_Passions, SHEExooo

Reviewed by Ray { The Great Canadian Buzzard }

Reviewed on August 24, 2009

Well I don't know who started the rumor that the Buzzard is 69
Although I do feel older than that at times :)
My Birthday is December 30th 1956
Honest!!

I guess the old story is true
" If you want something nice said about you, one must start that rumor yourself " LOL
The Old Buzzard

Reviewed by Georg Mateos

Hear hear PeeWee, and then again...the gansta from lil' Italy don't wanna have nuthin' from that two bit liar that try to con his "friends"
The Ole Godfather & Fratellos will bring plenty of firewood to his BBQ!

EDvard, no more Ole cuz!

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on August 23, 2009

Happy Buzzard Day, Ray. Some of your cousins are flyin' 'round outside my apartment, right now - did you send them to spread the news? LOL Well done, my friend.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

STILL say you are a Poet. =]

Reviewed by D Johnson

Maybe the recipe for the cake should be sent to the Food Channel, they might do a special segment, eh?

Cheers,
Dan

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

'No one has heard from the Ed brothers'

As usual, the News never reports all the facts. From a very reliable anonymous source:

'The Ed Brothers, having learned that the Old Canadian Buzzard has a fortune in gold stashed away somewhere, are demanding that they receive far more gold than originally agreed upon, to break the old Buzzard out of jail.'