Rumour had it that I'd died

well look at me

do you think thats true ,

why do you shake your head m'lad

you don't believe its true do you?

Well it got me kind of worried

had to pinch myself to see

oh sorry madam I said

I thought that was me.

Well now

let's sort this out

I am alive as live can be

whoever started rumour

that one I'd like to see.

I read it in the paper

said I was dead

had me placed in the obituary

sent a cold shiver

from me toes to me head.

Then when I went to the shops

people looked at me glazed

some came up close and shook their heads

said they were amazed,

'Amazed' I said

'Amazed at what.'

Then one of them replied,

he said 'You look the spitting image

of dear old uncle Sam,

he passed away the other day

oh he was a nice man.'

My eyes near popped as I replied

I said 'I am you fool.'

then he looked shocked

'What your dead.' he said

so I replied

'No I am Sam you stupid fool.'

Well that did not seem to convince at all

for others gathered around.

'If you you are Sam,' they asked

'then whose that Sam in the ground?'

'How would I know.' I replied

I am Sam from Union Road

number three,

who the poor sucker is in the ground is,

is nothing to do with me.'

I said it was a rumour

spread by a fool

showed them the Mole on me bum,

well that did the trick

convinced them one and all.