The sky was so blue today
Invited the doilies of clouds to play
Hot... humid weather stepped back
Winged seagulls took up the slack
As Terns screeched and dove
Like the many enroads
Of play before day turns to black
The evening shadows like shades
Pull down at the close of the day
When hyper paces slow down
Night shadows reach for the ground
Then silence is broken
When whispers are spoken
And heartbeats are earths snoring sound.
Wonderfully visual and well-observed, Susan. Sketched with admirable brevity, too, but losing nothing of the breath-taking atmosphere. Some lovely images and a super-smooth tone. Nice!! TY Kate xx
Susan
Such intrinsic beauty and wonder in your compelling words..
Your good heart transfers into communication of the most sublime and rudimentary form..:)
Peter
This is a goodun'- Susan! You had me up there on Number 9, and contentment was awash... Such perfection in yourword selection.
I'm an avid "Cloud Man," - Love 'em all at any time of day.
Read recently of a five-year old promising poet like you;
taking a look at a scattered formation,she shouts,
"The sky is full of scrambled clouds!"
This one brings back so many memories of laying on my back on blankets with lovers staring at the sky and making images out of the clouds drifting by which I'm sure we have all done. So real I can almost picture the two of us together watching them until the stars broke the spell of magical clouds for one of another. Well done Sue, and by the way love the new profile pic.
Hugs
Felix
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on April 6, 2006
Talk about MY poetry evolving!! This is art, pure and simple.
Like the way you use metaphoric movements comparing shadows, clouds and birds. Last line about heartbeats/snoring since both involve vibrations. (Think about the exponential effect of heartbeats (heart attacks) and snoring (rumbling of earth volcanic lava which is hot like the heart in passion--ties right back into the "hot/humid" description.) Interesting play on words from line to line.
blessin's Sis Susan. . .
cynth'ya lewis reed
A book of nature inspired poems and essays, written from the heart and soul of a life-long nature, animal, and wilderness lover, and dedicated to today’s children - Earth's only hope for a better tomorrow.
This book won 'The Poetry Category'
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Ron
Reindeer
Such intrinsic beauty and wonder in your compelling words..
Your good heart transfers into communication of the most sublime and rudimentary form..:)
Peter
Love Tinka
I'm an avid "Cloud Man," - Love 'em all at any time of day.
Read recently of a five-year old promising poet like you;
taking a look at a scattered formation,she shouts,
"The sky is full of scrambled clouds!"
Hugs
Felix
Eileen
blessin's Sis Susan. . .
cynth'ya lewis reed
Beautifully imaged, tenderly expressed...perfection in verse. Well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.