After running aground of ideas, I thought I would take a look through my old poems to see if they could be fixed up. This is one was posted previously in February 2004 and was in serious need of editing (probably still is).
Love is so easily drained of its magnificence when hope is crushed by insignificance; darkened by a world once delightful, distorted by those who've become spiteful.
So the head of all heads cried into "his" sky, "My people, why do you hurt those who try? Misery is not a game, a sadist’s favorite toy. What is it about love you wish to destroy?"
And a woman lost, rests her head out of shame sitting fearful of all who like to play the game. Bravely she cried out to the deaf, dumb and blind, "Have you not yet found what you have come to find?"
The people all gathered to watch and laugh out loud, while love was crushed under the revelry of the crowd.
It seems that the author intended to write this in Alexandrine's Verses.
The frame is of an English Sonnet, but it doesn't comply with the technicality concerned; therefore it leads the reader to understand that this composition was originally set to be finished as Free Verse. I think that if the author of "The Crush of Love" decides to frame this composition in Alexandrine's Verses it will improve to BELLES-LETTERS (Bell-Letters) level without losing the substantiality of its contents.
I have enjoyed the reading of "The Crush of Love (revised)".
Great imagery, thought- provoking and filled with the voices of the lost!
I never read it before, so I can't help in comparing, but I do think you have yourself a very well written muse here...i enjoyed the
"Crush of Love"
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
For the reasons I describe in this book, the world-wide suffering, death and extinction of humanity is very likely to occur, unless nonviolent and democratically determined radical and revolutionary personal and societal actions and changes are taken
For the reasons I describe in this book, the world-wide suffering, death and extinction of humanity is very likely to occur, unless nonviolent and democratically determined radical and revolutionary personal and societal actions and changes are taken
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Ron
The frame is of an English Sonnet, but it doesn't comply with the technicality concerned; therefore it leads the reader to understand that this composition was originally set to be finished as Free Verse. I think that if the author of "The Crush of Love" decides to frame this composition in Alexandrine's Verses it will improve to BELLES-LETTERS (Bell-Letters) level without losing the substantiality of its contents.
I have enjoyed the reading of "The Crush of Love (revised)".
I salute You, Poet.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Regis
C h i l l i n g; one feels the hopelessness encased in powerful verse; perfectly metered and rhymed; a compelling read. Well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, karla.
I never read it before, so I can't help in comparing, but I do think you have yourself a very well written muse here...i enjoyed the
"Crush of Love"
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
Well done Sara!!
That picture grrrrrr....but fits the poem well!!
Love & Light Tinka