enjoyed the playful and arty arrangement of word & idea ...
Reviewed by blue soplain (Reader)
Reviewed on April 18, 2009
mmm...
have to agree with kate on this....
the slight tilt of the head in this. . .the smiling sideways glances. . ..
expounding upon such poetica and alliterative beauty and. . .
and..i do have to admit though, i miss your oceanic vibrato. ..
youve been missed.
ness
We have here a bevy of sights, sounds, and emotions. From gripping to dancing to celebrating something I'm not familiar with. I'm inclined to think it may be a part of the American consciousness which we Canucks to the north do not experience. Yes, I think that is it. We see it in many of your Holly Wood movies and in the high school bands which travel up here to perform in anniversary parades. It is an inner pride and is often expressed beautifully in pomp and circumstance whenever it is possible. I kind of envy this. Great poem Made me think. Hugs, J'nia
Gene this one just makes me smile, as it nudged a distant memory...
Carole~
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on April 17, 2009
I felt a sense of "containment" here, perhaps because of "tree lined" and "lattice fence" and even "reservoir." "Gather", "flourish" and "gripped" seem to ring out at me, but I have no explanation as to why. It seems there's a balancing act here between a sort of revelry and a sort of containment/restraint. I found this poem unusual and intriguing. But, I am not sure I fully understand its origin or intent. It feels rather personal as if I am only invited to participate from a distance. Crazy review here, I suppose!
Gene,
This is indeed song: lilt, flow, rhythm and beauty. For a moment I questioned the comma after 'baton' but that's just me. I love the carefree mood of this poem and the whimsical humour underpinning it, but I see, too, the political dimension and the implied criticism and disappointment.
m&m is wondrous blessed to be serenaded with such carefree abandon and with such joie de vivre from nature's best. I love the wild wackiness of this... strikes a chord with this country gal and total hayseed! :)) xx
Ah, my dear Gene, this is WONDERFUL! Full of joie de vivre and humor, I adore this one - nay, I adore YOU! Thank you for puttin' a dance in me step. Well done!
Gene: I printed out the poem, because it's so hard to comment on individual lines, scrolling up down up down. maybe I'll ask AD if there is an easier layout.
The diction in this piece is excellent. My, but you are prolific, too. Is that because you are my peninsomnia-pal?
Anyway, this is appropriately titled, because it is indeed a song. So many poetic devices drive it. They're not lost on me, but to a person not so familiar to poetry, they will not be lost either. There is a reason we use these devices.
I was confused by "our national city," so clarify that for me.
Lattice is a work I don't hear often in poetry, and I love it. Similar to another beloved word, "solace." You've got good rhythm here, it just flows -- and the layout of the long lines alternating with very short is consistent, and pleasing in a way I can't define.
The "gathers/a gaggle of geese" I love, though my own critic here in CO always says, why do inversions? A gaggle of geese gathers -- well, I happen to love inversions. And the inverted way brings out your assonance better.
honking/cacphonous is of course onomatopoetic, so I like that;
I'm not sure metronomic is a word, but you see, I make words adjectival all the time (am called on it, and then leave them). One of my poems (Arctic Dusk, to Sylvia Plath) has a made-up word: aquateer, because I could not bear to say "natador." Who could bear that? Yuk. So I say, bring on the license, though I know it is reaching (at least in mine).
Lavender glove is a beautiful phrase, and I like the alliteration of rollicking refugee. It's interesting, -- you have many endlines that are variations on rhyme: geese, joy, refugee, colleen--- a lot of EEEEE sound in there. Makes me think "WHEEE!" a happy word, yes?
Celebration of the transplanted colleen appeals to me, and colleen goes well with the coming hard "c" counds: celtic jig (with its assonance) and then carefree at the end. Now, one could say, but we've had all those soft sounds -- now we have a mouthful of consonants -- but I think here you catch the cacophany and music of this nature's feast of birds. Good going, G. This poem has cheered me on an otherwise difficult day. All around us there is singing, if we pause to listen.
See, basically, is IS a song. Th whole thing rollicks and is eerry an jubilant -- or maybe it's a dance -- whatever, it is musical for sure. I wish I knew more about my own (adopted) landscape, names of birds, names of plant-life, etc.
I love it! You are so versatile Gene. The lilting feel of this poem does give it a melodic quality and it fits so well with the theme. Great imagery. Once again you've inspired me.
Thank you
Chanti
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"baton,
gripped lightly
in the lavender glove
of this rollicking
refugee"
As always, you take me to new places to see new things.......Thank you Gene.....
Peace,
Bill :-)
have to agree with kate on this....
the slight tilt of the head in this. . .the smiling sideways glances. . ..
expounding upon such poetica and alliterative beauty and. . .
and..i do have to admit though, i miss your oceanic vibrato. ..
youve been missed.
ness
Carole~
This is indeed song: lilt, flow, rhythm and beauty. For a moment I questioned the comma after 'baton' but that's just me. I love the carefree mood of this poem and the whimsical humour underpinning it, but I see, too, the political dimension and the implied criticism and disappointment.
John
Love,
Chanti Lace xoxo
stan
Be always safe,
Karen
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
The diction in this piece is excellent. My, but you are prolific, too. Is that because you are my peninsomnia-pal?
Anyway, this is appropriately titled, because it is indeed a song. So many poetic devices drive it. They're not lost on me, but to a person not so familiar to poetry, they will not be lost either. There is a reason we use these devices.
I was confused by "our national city," so clarify that for me.
Lattice is a work I don't hear often in poetry, and I love it. Similar to another beloved word, "solace." You've got good rhythm here, it just flows -- and the layout of the long lines alternating with very short is consistent, and pleasing in a way I can't define.
The "gathers/a gaggle of geese" I love, though my own critic here in CO always says, why do inversions? A gaggle of geese gathers -- well, I happen to love inversions. And the inverted way brings out your assonance better.
honking/cacphonous is of course onomatopoetic, so I like that;
I'm not sure metronomic is a word, but you see, I make words adjectival all the time (am called on it, and then leave them). One of my poems (Arctic Dusk, to Sylvia Plath) has a made-up word: aquateer, because I could not bear to say "natador." Who could bear that? Yuk. So I say, bring on the license, though I know it is reaching (at least in mine).
Lavender glove is a beautiful phrase, and I like the alliteration of rollicking refugee. It's interesting, -- you have many endlines that are variations on rhyme: geese, joy, refugee, colleen--- a lot of EEEEE sound in there. Makes me think "WHEEE!" a happy word, yes?
Celebration of the transplanted colleen appeals to me, and colleen goes well with the coming hard "c" counds: celtic jig (with its assonance) and then carefree at the end. Now, one could say, but we've had all those soft sounds -- now we have a mouthful of consonants -- but I think here you catch the cacophany and music of this nature's feast of birds. Good going, G. This poem has cheered me on an otherwise difficult day. All around us there is singing, if we pause to listen.
See, basically, is IS a song. Th whole thing rollicks and is eerry an jubilant -- or maybe it's a dance -- whatever, it is musical for sure. I wish I knew more about my own (adopted) landscape, names of birds, names of plant-life, etc.
Thank you
Chanti
In Spirit,
Bear