Well, Gurlz and Ghoulz, I'm a week late with this, but was a tad buzy. The original was written way back in the late Sixties, when I worked at JHU the first time.

I just could not remember it verbatim, so I had to improvise, and update it to the Times.

It may not be quite as 'catchy' as the HIPPO SONG, and its really quite different, all about a DONG!

And it probably won't make the charts,
like: MY DING-A-LING -
But if it lightens your Hearts,
Go right ahead and SING!

The Transplant

Copyright: 12/31/07 - Tom Hyland

Ole Kris Kringle had a Wrinkled Ole Dingle,
Way back before Viagra was Invented.
Tried as he would, he never could, get a Woody,
And the Mrs. was Awfully Lamented.


So, off to Johns Hopkins, to Investigate,
Some Transplant Surgery might Sate his Mate!
Was there an answer for his E.D.?
All the Docs did Cogitate - let’s See!


What IF - they began Brainstorming,
We did This, or we did That? Ideas were Swarming!
A Pump was Rejected, as an Answer,
Perhaps some Testosterone from Prancer?


Nah! Let’s run some Tests that will Tingle,
Hook up some Electrodes to his Ole Dingle!
Zap! Zip! It Curled up his Lip!
Modern Technology is really Hip!


Then, one of the Young Docs did Speak-a,
As he cried out - EUREKA!
What IF - he did Suppose,
We Grafted a Smidgen from Rudolph’s Nose?


AH - That’s the Ticket, they all did Proclaim,
Strap down Ole Rudolph, the Reindeer of Fame.
That Beautiful Glow might help Santa’s HOSE!
A Wee Skin Graft - Zip! Zap! Then we Close!

Ole Kris Kringle USTA have a Wrinkled Ole Dingle,

Now, Each and Every Night,
We hear him Exclaim,
Ere he Drives out of Sight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

AND - MAMA -

YOU’RE GON’NA GET IT TONIGHT!


POSTSCRIPT


Now, Kiddies, on Christmas Eve,
As you Look into the Skies,
And you see TWO GLOWING Objects,
Don’t be Surprised.

One in Front, and One in the Sleigh,
Just Smile Knowingly,
Yes, Virginia -
SANTA DID LAY!


HO - HO - HO !!!