AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Frank Whyte, iDavid Clure, iMichael Charles Messineo, i Armand, iEva Pasco, iConnie Amarel, iMargaret Mullings, iAlexander Shaumyan, iT. Cline, iCheri Clifton, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 1,015 Titles
· 4,323 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Feb, 2003

Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!


Books by
Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com



See all Books
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com



Lady in Distress
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com → (All Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com)
   Rated "R" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Is Truth stranger than Fiction?

Does Stress cause Friction?

Is Diction a Contradiction?

DUH?


Poem Artwork



Lady in Distress

© - Tom Hyland - 04-05-09

Yes - she was Fuming!
Yes - she was Upset!
Could have chewed Nails -
Yes - I would Bet!

Handyman is A.W.O.L.
Job is Undone -
Daughter Teed-Off -
Asleep is - In-Law Son!

White Knight Arrives -
In Shining Armor -
Says - Hair Looks Nice -
Thought I was a Goner!

Curtain rods Frim-Frammed -
Phone out of Whack -
Eyes Glazed Over -
She was a Wreck!

Bed Screwed Up -
Legs/Feet Missing -
Storage Boxes Out -
Man - she was Hissing!

To the Top of the Step-Stool -
To the Top of the Wall -
Screwin’ in Brackets -
Oh, Please - Don’t Fall!

Place is a Mess -
Her hair a Dishevel -
Was I her Angel?
She looked like the Devil!

“Re-arrange the Roses -
No - not like That!
Down more in the Middle -
Fix it - Tom Kat!”

Do it My Way -
Or hit the Highway!
Hell hath no Fury -
Like this Woman’s Story!

Tears started Flowing -
But - she didn’t Cuss!
Bedazzled and Frazzled -
She made quite a Fuss!

Stormed at with Shot and Shell -
The Knight - not Dismayed -
He carried on Splendidly -
Hoping to get Laid!

Down to the Workshop -
Once - Twice - Thrice -
Sawed Two-by-Fours -
For Rigging - so Nice!

Where is the Flashlight?
I need a Torch -
Where is the Molding?
Is it out on the Porch?

Like “Hot-Buttered-Beans”
We searched High and Low -
Where’s that Friggin’ Molding?
Her Temper did Flow!

Upstairs - Downstairs -
This room - then That -
Aha! In the Closet -
That’s where it’s At!

Hammer - Nails - Screwdriver -
All were Employed -
This Job - that Job -
I tackled - won my Reward!

Bedding - Mattress - Box-Springs -
All were Undone -
Fixed the Friggin’ Feet -
Then - Finally - we Won!

All back Together -
Only took Four Hours!
She - now Pleased - Smiles Sweetly -
Maybe I’ll get Flowers?

Now De-Stressed - now Complacent -
We shared a Bath -
Then, Abed for some Fun -
Story Done - Now - Can Laugh!



© - TKH



Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Lady in Distress"
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler
Reviewed on April 6, 2009
te-he-te-he...Was this a move in or an extreme reno? Fun, thank you. Hugs, J'nia


New Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins.  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds