Revealing Moment

One fateful day at my trade training camp,
to the Corporals’ bunk I had reason to tramp,
She asked me "Can you swim," "Yes" I replied,
several lengths I could do, quite well, if I tried
"Well, fetch your swimsuit and come with us"
a nice day out, and a journey by bus.
Just a pleasure trip, that’s what I thought,
but on the coach my attention was caught
by talk of "Swimming Championships"
being held at the seaside, Weston Supermare;
‘What have I done, does anyone care?’
I don’t swim THAT well, to represent
an RAF team, on success, hell bent;
I had been entered for the two length breast-stroke,
well, that’s OK, though I won’t be first at the rope,
but – oh horror – they expect me to dive
and I never learned and never did strive;
Everyone’s wearing those navy blue swimsuits
And mine is white, all covered with fruits!
I feel such a fool, waiting for the gun
Standing on that pedestal, this is NOT much fun;
Well, I tried my best when I dove in,
Oh what a belly flop, just bear it and grin.
Then the pain hit me and I could not shout,
Three quarters of a length, then I passed out;
A Lifeguard jumped in to rescue me
Another reached out to pull me free,
The strap on my swimsuit broke, my top slid down!
to shouts and cheers from the watching crowd;
In an ambulance I awoke, in pain
the Lifeguard bragged "A blue ribbon I’ll gain!
A Medic pronounced "I think it’s her Appendix"
I said "No it isn’t, that you can’t fix"
"Just a year ago, see the scar on my tum,
It has already been done!"
With solicitous care, my friends looked after me
Then to RAF Locking, we went off for tea,
A knight in blue uniform took my arm
And carried my knife and fork to save me from harm!