‘Sickie’ Slicker

It wasn’t my plan to purposely become one of life’s sickie slickers

Till the time I took a day off because I’d run out of clean knickers

Now I know folks that take days off for one thing or another

They’ve either got a genuine cold or else they’re just hung over

The rule of thumb applies just so we don’t all get caught out

That’s not to take just Monday; things must be carefully thought out

Don’t want it to look like the heavy weekend has done for you on Monday

You have to make it seem like a jippy tum tum troubled you all of Sunday

But the best idea, to be real slick is to take two days off at a time

And even add a third day if you feel chiefly that way inclined

But really, we’re not talking about the genuine article here

I’m talking about the reasons for a day off made quite clear

You might love daytime telly or have a secret rendezvous

You might fancy retail therapy or there’s something you’d much rather do

It’s about what makes a good excuse for a cheeky day off work

Not that I, I’ll have you know, am one of those who often shirk

It guarantees a short week, with not too much stress to overcome

You feel the better for it, ‘specially when applying the rule of thumb

You know those days however, when it’s hard to leave your duvet

The alarm will ring, the snooze button mashed, but still you cannot move, eh?

For me, I have to pat myself upon the back and say

It’s rare I take a sickie and I want it kept that way

But sometimes it’s a chore you know to get up and get dressed

It’s hard to be professional all the time and not get stressed

But this rhyme is to highlight that I’m not normally a lazy basket

It’s better to stay in bed when ill instead of trying to mask it

But if like me, you find you’re not sure to stay home, or to go

You have no clean undies you can wear, and you’re not going com-mand-o

Just put the kettle on and make a lovely cup of tea instead

And for courtesy, text the office, then just climb straight back into bed.