What's That Smell? (poem) by Michael D. Schafer on AuthorsDen

What's That Smell?
by Michael D. Schafer → (All Poetry by Michael D. Schafer)
Thursday, April 18, 2019 Rated "G" by the Author.

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I can truly say, this poem really stinks
WHAT’S THAT SMELL? Do you smell that smell? That smell you smell is me. I think I stink, And I see you agree. I went to school at ol’ P.U., And majored in stinkology. I sweated over every test, And earned my B.O. degree. I do not take a shower. A bath I do not crave. A little dirt never hurt. I never ever bathe. I’m foul and offensive. My odor is quite strong. They say I can be smelled, From here to Hong Kong. I spread my stench around, With every step I take. No matter where I go, I leave a putrid wake. When I walk by trees, The leaves start falling off. Even skunks hold their noses, As they gag and cough. Flowers droop over, As they wither and die I’ve made buzzards and vultures, Fall and drop from the sky. People keep their distance. They know the danger’s real. When I walk by a building, The paint begins to peel. I’m living in my natural state. In my odor I can bask. But I’m feeling dizzy and delirious, Would someone please pass a gas mask. Michael D. Schafer © October 3, 2014

Reviewed by John Domino

Reviewed on April 20, 2019

Funny stuff! Well done! We like fart jokes. But when I passed by a construction worker in the store one day I wanted to run away and die! Hey, then some really strong perfume is just as bad. IT STINKS! LOL

Reviewed by D.T. de Bruijn

Reviewed on April 19, 2019

A degree in stinkology haha! Stank you very much, as Andre 3000 would say.

Reviewed by E Phillips

Back in my days at the orphanage, I matron would stick her head inside the boys' dormitory and yell "This place stinks to high heaven!" and then she would leave. To which one boy would say "No bath for me today." That was echoed one by one as we each got up and thanked heaven for small favors. You weren't that kid way back in the corner that nobody got near, were you?

Reviewed by John Herlihy

Reviewed on April 18, 2019

The poem is five years old, perhaps that's why it smells. Hilarious as usual, even as an old poem.

Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci

You've taken the first step! You admitted it! LOL!! Oh, this had me laughing. I tried to read it to my daughter but she got mad 'cause I kept laughing and couldn't do it! Thank you for the laugh!

Love ya!

Jane

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Every body else has said it quite positively or negatively, as it were, that you are either up or down, stinky, smelly or worse with this one and I have to agree that it is the ultimate compliment to a humoristic comedian, that you are...by far...-e-

Reviewed by Budd Nelson

as always so fun to read what you write
budd

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

I think one of the greatest compliments we can make to a comedian or humorist is to tell them that they stink! You my friend, have doubled down with this filthiest of deliveries I've ever read. Reminds me of the day walking down the grocery store aisle and being stopped by a wall of odor protecting an older woman from any assault or even a friendly approach. I would have hated to be the person who checked her groceries out.

Ron

Reviewed by Richard Cederberg

Funny. I can't help but seeing this doubling also as a metaphor about our contentious POTUS... r