c. Sara L. Russell 26th August 2003
Old ladies do a stately sideways shamble,
Toddlers dance like penguins in a ring;
Fathers do a rolling, bear-like amble,
Which teenage daughters find embarrassing.
Young men watch the scene with some derision,
While older men fill up the fruit machines;
To dance, or not to dance, is some decision
With music that was from your parents' teens.
Women dance a winding, tipsy conga,
With handbags pushed discreetly under chairs.
Over at the bar, the queues are longer,
While girls visit the Ladies' Room in pairs.
The music ends, the D.J. packs his cables,
Cardigans and coats are gathered in
And small children dragged out from under tables,
As we dream of next week's wild social spin.
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Young men watch the scene with some derision,
While older men fill up the fruit machines;
To dance, or not to dance, is some decision
With music that was from your parents' teens.
I would change some to mild in the first line and was to is in the fourth.
This imagery:
Toddlers dance like penguins in a ring;
Wonderful!
It takes a REAL poet to be able to use a SIMILE LIKE a metaphor.
Of course, Sara does!
(as always)
This is a splendid piece of English literature.
I highly recommend this poem to the judges of the September 2003 AD poetry contest.
Richard Vallance,
Ottawa, Ontario,
CANADA
An amusing poemization of a true social fun's function, poetized with the words dictated by the eyes that know how to etch images on the doors of imagination.
Smooth reading.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Wonderfully funny Sara and I recognised all the types:- Ian
May Lu a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)