[a new sonnet on the theme of legends and the origins of evil. The illustration is mine, constructed tonight in 3D and retouched.]
Pandora slipped her hands onto the lid Merely intending one clandestine peep, And as she lifted, monsters of the id Slowly began arising from their sleep. Cruelty flew out over less wakeful beasts, Heedless of tortured screams rising from Hell; Diseases followed, with unholy priests And lowly demons, sprung from Satan's well. They came with noisy, flapping leathern wings, With coils of questing tendrils, seeking prey, All of the most unsavoury of things Crawled, flew or slithered to the light of day. It seemed that all was lost to evil's shame, Until hope ventured out, to speak her name.
It is really much easier to form the imagery of love and peace through the angelic, but you really succeed in making us feel the "hope" and peace through the evil. Which is the hardest way!
You did it! This poem reminded me of Blake's Marriage of Heaven and Hell.
Good Luck
Meva
I don't think there's anything wrong with the first line. I do think proclaim her name would be interesting in the last line. Otherwise, this is fabulous, as usual.
Thanks Oirdheirc Mor... you have a valid point about the first line. It would probably work with either "onto" or "upon" (sorry, I am a Libran; terrible at decisions). It could be "onto" if she was standing over the box reaching down to it, or "upon" if she was looking up at the box, if it was on a shelf and she had to reach up to it. We will never know for sure....
Reviewed by Oirdheirc Mor (Reader)
Reviewed on November 22, 2003
Hi Sara.
Sorry to be the lone dissenter on your poem, I did not think the first line of this poem was so very clever.
Personally I think” upon “the lid was more appropriate. Upon meaning up and onto towards.
Gives a different meaning to the movement of the hands.
Tatty by for now.
Hi Sweetie,
You don't know the joke about hope disappearing over the horizon with its arse on fire then?
's funny but I was playing around with Pandora ideas just last week. Must be the way things are in the world.
Loved this one.
Ian
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Spellbinding! Excellent!
Robert
You did it! This poem reminded me of Blake's Marriage of Heaven and Hell.
Good Luck
Meva
Sorry to be the lone dissenter on your poem, I did not think the first line of this poem was so very clever.
Personally I think” upon “the lid was more appropriate. Upon meaning up and onto towards.
Gives a different meaning to the movement of the hands.
Tatty by for now.
Oirdheirc Mor
Wonderful poetry Sara.....Killer last line...I love a closing that smacks you right in the face...The art is awesome.
Ty, I very much enjoyed, Dani
Oh Sara, how utterly divine!
That last verse cut my breath off!
Well, you know what to do, eh? Submit this and pic for pub in the Winter 2004 issue of SP. It's a clincher!
Bye for now,
Richard Vallance
You don't know the joke about hope disappearing over the horizon with its arse on fire then?
's funny but I was playing around with Pandora ideas just last week. Must be the way things are in the world.
Loved this one.
Ian
Love the image, also.