"You say you don't have time to write;
So - what are you doing tonight?"

"Watching telly, I suppose
Or removing blackheads from my nose."

"Turn off the set, turn on the computer;
who cares what spots are on your hooter?
Start by roughing our your plot.
Invent some characters; not a lot..."

"I don't think I have time tonight.
The kitchen floor's a nasty sight.
Spilled orange juice, and then the pup...
I'd better go and clean it up."

"Good morning, what will you write today?
Romance is popular, they say;
A hero and a heroine,
Lots of problems, but of course they'll win..."

"I'm much too busy to write today.
I have to go and collect my pay."

"That will take - um - half an hour?"

"But first I need to have a shower."

"Then how about this afternoon?"

"I can't. I have to polish spoons."

"Tonight? Tomorrow, if that's more fitting."

"But I have to get on with the scarf I'm knitting."

"Next week -"

"I'm busy."

"Next month-"

"Not good."

"I think I must have misunderstood.
I thought you said you wanted to write?
Something worthy and not too light?
You said it's been your great ambition,
To write and shed those inhibitions..."

"I want to write. You are unkind!
I'll make a start when I have the time.
I have to take the kids to school,
and then I need to choose some wool."

"I'll buy the wool and drive the girls.
Then you'll have time to give it a whirl!
Get the dictionary off the shelf
Time to reveal your literary self...
Hey! What's that? I'm trying to help!
How dare you say I'm a horrible whelp...
You don't have time to write, you said..."

"No! I'd rather have a life instead!"