The bottoms a rather strange thing,
but its design is very clever.
Without it legs would feel lonely,
they'd have nowhere to get together.

Your bum is the body's best idea,
it helps people sit in a chair.
Without it body and arms and legs
would float about in mid air.

Women look after their bottoms
but can become somewhat obssessed,
asking "does my bum look big in this?"
each time they put on a dress.

But a man tends to neglect his bottom,
allowing it to droop and to sag,
until the seat of his trousers
looks like a mailman's bag.