New and Used Parts -- "Call Now!"

Lord, do ya 'member way back when ya made me spankin' new?
I came a little early -- it jest seemed the thing to do.
Still, every part was in its place -- jest perfect, I might add,
an'  I, the bald-headed baby, bedazzled Mom and Dad!

I grew up with a lot of help, my parts all doin' fine --
Lost one er two along the way, but then at forty-nine,
the doctors thought the time was nigh fer them ta stir the pot --
they took one out an' put one in an' this is what I got --

A little valve -- it's called Saint Jude -- is tucked down in my heart.
I oney have jest one complaint -- it's sech a noisy part!
It makes a mos' peculiar sound like an old alarm-ey clock.
How kin a body git to sleep with a built-in tick 'n' tock?

The Doc says, "nice and snappy" when he listens with his ear.
I say, "Praise the good Lord above!  That noise is LIFE I hear!"
Now I am growin' older an' I'm slowly wearin' out.
My bones an' joints they creak so much they drown ole St. Jude out!

But don't ya be a-frettin', Lord, the bud I'm gonna nip --
an' come next Wednesday at sunup I'll git me a brand new hip.
I'm hopin' it's a quiet one that nary makes a sound,
but iffen ya hear me comin' ya'll know
This HIPPIE'S still around!

p.s. Lord, whatever suits yer fancy -- a new hip er a new home -- it's fine and dandy with me........................