Every day my mail box is full of ads that promise sexual fanfare, from whale sized weenies to twenty four hour boners. I have yet to indulge to benefit my bulge; in fact there are times when I wish the reproductive extremities were non existent.

Castrated

In a world without testosterone

You wouldn’t say hey maticone,

Spend long hours on the phone,

Wanting to give that dog a bone!

In a world that wasn’t sexual

You wouldn’t ask for heterosexual,

Get an operation to be transsexual,

Open closets and scream homosexual.

In a world without procreative roots,

You wouldn’t call up puss & boots,

Risk careers for double D hoots,

Spank the monkey till it shoots.

In a world without big Gonads,

You wouldn’t stand for trashy fads,

Wind up in furry striped pads,

Till Kama Sutra’s pull muscles bad.

Just imagine a world without your bassoon,

No more howling and jowling for moon,

Virgins unjustly ravaged too soon,

Spreading your love with a spoon.

But no, you got this incessant urge,

A primordial soup and means to purge,

Copious chemical cocktails to splurge,

Poseidon’s tidal erruptuous merge.

Let’s go green and castrate the masses,

Sever the ego and make equal classes,

Discover salvation and board up the passes,

Slow down the humors just like molasses.

Now wait a minute, that’s not the way,

A good Mormon should spray DNA,

Be fruitful and multiply I say,

If you can afford to pay; play.

Oh, but when she shakes that thang

Sweet alchemy fluttering pangs,

Survival depends on emotional fangs

Universe can’t eclipse without big bang!

And then there was light!

H.J. Cruz

4/08