Pay Day Loan
Dan Johnson
© July, 2011
Being an independent voter allows me the opportunity to poke fun at both sides of the political aisle with tongue in cheek and a mischievous smile.

September 2, 2011, One month after the President of the United States and Congress failed to reach an agreement on raising the debt limit.

“I’m sorry sir, I have bad news” The young man smartly dressed remained calm as the manager of Speedy Loans nervously explained, “You have a combined credit score from the three reporting companies of 396, that’s horrible.” Still the young man remained calm and left the Speedy Loan office to his awaiting limousine, where he picked up the phone and reported “I’m sorry Mr. President but Speedy Loans turned us down, again.” There was an eerie quiet on the phone line, when an automated voice interrupted and said, “You have 2 minutes and 30 seconds remaining on your phone card.”

When the Treasury Secretary returned to his office his secretary handed him a sealed envelope and all she said was, “Someone from the Chinese Embassy dropped this off while you were out.”

In the privacy of his office he read the contents of the envelope:

'Dear Mr. Secretary of the Treasury, your government is once again 60 days late on your loan payment. We urge you to make arrangements to bring your account current'…blah, blah, blah.

The report was thrown onto a pile with all of the other late notices.

Meanwhile back at the office of the Speaker of the House.

“Mr. Speaker, last month’s labor and economic reports are in and, well, sir, the numbers are not in our favor.” The young aide began reading the highlights of the reports. Unemployment 14.7%, Loan defaults are up 33%, Bankruptcy’s up 51% nationally and in Ohio they went to 62%...should I go on?” The Speaker thought for a moment, then reflecting to his aide, “The good news is that we stood our ground in not raising the debt ceiling, now the American people just need to learn how to tighten their belts and live within their incomes.”

September 3, 2011, the guy on the six o’clock news reported; unleaded gas has skyrocketed to $8.77 per gallon. The National Wholesale Bakers Association announced that the cost of a loaf of bread on Thursday would be $6.50 for a 16oz loaf of white bread. Earlier today the Secretary of the Treasury reported that the Republic of China has taken steps to claim the amount owed to them for outstanding loans by securing the State of New Jersey in lieu of one month’s payment. Have a nice night.