Standing on the trail
sharing words before his departure
John was his name
I asked if he had
any fuel to spare
then in a instant it came
Crashing downward, SKY Falling
He couldn’t hang on
as hard as hard as he tried
getting closer to the sun
day by day, sunshine
and yes the sun was shining that morning
green tipped outstretched branches
as you tumbled over
mighty wasyour crash
and rest assured, you were seen heard and felt
by two trail hardened men
John, jumped
Istood in awe,
as you broke I n two
crashing to your end
down upon these mossy rocks
I graciously accept your gift
your offering
to fuel my fire
one more
day, so close, so close
now you are there
Very intriguing poem, I agree with the previous comments.
I also like the difference of rhythm/content between the first stanza
and the rest of your poem.
Axilea
Reviewed by blue soplain (Reader)
Reviewed on April 13, 2008
charlie saw what i did in the "I n two"; the breaking of more than a tree. ..and the space before the awe. . .. ., so empty and full both; just awe as it should be. ..
and John [the name conjures saints]
and i think this tree fueled more than fire.
[hope it didnt hurt those poor rocks]
>>>> < < < <
Hello Stan,
Great Write Takes Me Back To My Discovery Of Power Tools! lol A Chain Saw & Some 40-60' pine trees. Yep I Love Power Tools, But the wind....well that was almost a catastophe
Embrassé
Vickie
"The Great Teen Fruit War, A 1960 Novel" involves conflict between the Blues (sons of blueberry farmers) and the Reds (sons of peach growers) in a southern New Jersey agricultural community.
Cryssa
I also like the difference of rhythm/content between the first stanza
and the rest of your poem.
Axilea
and John [the name conjures saints]
and i think this tree fueled more than fire.
[hope it didnt hurt those poor rocks]
>>>> < < < <
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Great Write Takes Me Back To My Discovery Of Power Tools! lol A Chain Saw & Some 40-60' pine trees. Yep I Love Power Tools, But the wind....well that was almost a catastophe
Embrassé
Vickie