While Harry's away , I get to play with the TV Remote Control

When I get Harry off to work and the kids off to school,
I run get the Tv Remote Control, Harry's favorite tool.
Now I'm the Big Kahuna, I hang ten alone,
I grab a liter of rootbeer,some chips and turn off the phone.
Channel Surfin aint for the faint of heart,
I suggest that you check with your Doc, before you start.
You take hold of the Remote Control and feel the power in your hand,
Right away Ya start pickin your nose, fartin and actin like a man!
I get into Harry's Lazy-boy and turn on the switch,
I am feelin so manly, I swannie I've got jock itch!
Channel 2, Hello Jerry Springer,
Today's topic is," I Seduced My Wife's Lover, The Dude Was A Swinger.
Channel 7 Dr. Phil is uniting estranged families, he can kiss my butt!,
Cause life is a box of chocolates and my family is all nuts.
Hey my favorite soap," As The Toilet Flushes,
OOO that Dr. Dray gives me hot flashes and hormone rushes.
Here's a cookin show, makin something healthy to eat,
Why does the healthy stuff look like crap and smells like feet?
An INFO-merical, saying this shampoo will make your hair look like Cher,
But Cher wears wigs and don't mess with her hair.
Headline News, some politican is makin a speech, gettin in the groove,
I know the ole boy's lyin, cause I can see his lips move.
Harry, Ya little devil, you ordered Porn-TV,
All them pantin horny folks is foggin up my screen sos I can't see!
Hey dig that Dude, he's roamin round big and srout,
Suddenly I gots the craves for a foot-longer and sauerkraut.
Harry has just come home, wants the remote, hear him whine and moan,
The Queen Of The Remote Control, must retire, cause Harry surfs alone.