I looked at the birthday cake lying on the table.
It wished me best wishes and also showed
a number.

My friends gave my a card that said, "You're 50 now, how does it feel to be old"

I knew they were trying to be cute, and so for them I gave a laugh.

Some say that life begins at 50, and if I could find the jerk that first started that rumor, I'd love to kick his ass!

We were going to the bookstore when my husband yelled, "hurry up".  I grabbed my glasses from the table and "hurried up" as requested.  Damn man.

I browsed the Love Story section and found a book I liked.  I went in purse for my glasses, and lo and behold, the TV remote!

Since I couldn't see to read, we went home, my husband said with a dour look on his face.  "I cannot believe you did that!  No one can be that dumb. "  Damn man.

So I went home and wondered 'where did my glasses go?  No use in worrying, I went to the kitchen for a snack.  I opened up the crisper, my glasses were laying  there.    The talked to me and said, "now just imagine that?"

If this is the "beginning of my new life", I want the old one back!

I remember it was Christmas time, my family huddled around the fire.  They were complaining about the cold outside,  to this I couldn't see.
It felt like a desert summer or the 4th of July to me.

I kept putting things where they didn't belong, being hot when it was cold.  Many things I found in the cupboard, my purse, my jewelry, sometime even my clothes.

I was making dinner, forgot it was on the stove.  The kitchen was on fire, thank God it wasn't more.   I finally remembered what happened, and thought, "Dear Lord, what else could go wrong?"

My husband came home from work just than, and "Good grief, woman, what have you done now?!  I looked at him, the anger boiled, I slapped him across the face. " I hope you had a good day dear, because mine sure wasn't fun!"  Damn Man.

So if life begins at 50, what can sixty hold!