Summer's breath blew warm and stale
as we met the sleepy straightness of I-5 South.
The little no-name towns, rich in times past,
were granted single off ramps and no signs of services.
Services were reserved for those who survived the immanent domain.
Reeking of fresh cow shit, the fusty air announced the dairies
and slaughter houses of central California.
Borrowed cash is king in the big valley.
Farmers serve their masters well,
trading debt, for John Deere green and a new Cadillac.
Miles past, each deserving a Steinbeck tale,
but cannery row was nowhere in sight.
As our destination approached, the cow shit surrendered
to the odor of freeze dried onions,
prepared for a Styrofoam cup of soup.
Looking back, I think I preferred the cow shit.
Want to review or comment on this poem?
Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviews of "The Valley "
Reviewed by Fletcher Bailey (Reader)
Reviewed on May 30, 2004
Lori...this is excellent...I think modernization has all but killed a wonderful way of life...money...greed...power...so sad...nicely written dear poet...Fletcher B
Wow Lori, this reminds me of riding to Atlantic city on the country roads. The smell of the animals and farms. To me it smelled better than the city smog and gasoline engine fumes. I'll take country any day. I hate breathing in smog and gasoline fumes. l&p G
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
Reviewed on May 30, 2004
Ezquisite draft 2.. You have done such a beautiful job with this one.
Lori!
Oh yes the blue sky's and cow shit, nuffin like it. Draws me back to days of yore, where 3-4.am starts, feeding out hay in dry season, freezing cold under the mountain, and we'd head for the nearest cow patties fresh out of the oven to warm our feet through the Gumboots as we call em here. Most enjoyable write Lori, keep up the great work.
Hugs
Ch'erie
No doubt this poem describes a memorable country road trip passing by an ocassional rustic road house or two. Real "Thelma and Louise" visions I see here.
Yes, the Central Valley is interesting or not compared to how people view it but it is the greatest bread basket in the nation and perhaps the world. The only possible revisions I see is if you want it to flow more the line with John Deere and Cadillac doesn't flow easily for me (perhaps it does for others or you do not mean for it to flow). Other than that, most excellent poem and interesting perspective. J.
Lori - I'm not sure that this needs much revision if any...out here we say, "Cows may come and cows may go; but the bull goes on forever." -- I really enjoyed this!
Reviewed by Cynthia Castle (Reader)
Reviewed on May 29, 2004
Very good write, Lori! Quite descriptive of your travels! Enjoyed this and will look for the revisions!
Here they have cow pat throwing competitions, no bull shit:))
Reviewed by na na (Reader)
Reviewed on May 29, 2004
And Lori, sometimes the cow shit gets mighty deeo, I remember when I was young how good it felt to wiggle my bare toes in warm cow shit. I wonder if it would still feel that good? (how grossly honest I am) Go lady! I know this will get better and better For me, yes yes yes! Hugs Bill
Services were reserved for those who survived the immanent domain.
i really like that line ... the poem progresses into a an interesting perspective ... an vivid portrayal about the ramifications of modern existence when we make choices over styrofoam cups of soap and cow shit ... i like the contrast ...
Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader)
Reviewed on May 28, 2004
PERFECT-->>Miles past, each deserving a Steinbeck tale,
but cannery row was nowhere in sight. < < <
Share
Print
Save
Follow
Lori!
Hugs
Ch'erie
Carmen :-)
I put cow paddies on my tomato plants....
Have a great one!
the rest. Good poem!
I got the "beat" feeling from this one!;-) Kudo's!
smiles,
cynth'ya lewis reed
Cynthia
Love Tinka
i really like that line ... the poem progresses into a an interesting perspective ... an vivid portrayal about the ramifications of modern existence when we make choices over styrofoam cups of soap and cow shit ... i like the contrast ...
but cannery row was nowhere in sight. < < <
EXCELLENT poem...will look for the revisions
debashish