multicolored leaves
fall on the frozen ground-
an autumn kiss
a single leaf
on an autumn tree-
lonely
in the distance
church bells ring-
a warm fire
first frost
blankets the green-
tea and honey
across the lawn
running from the dog-
a rabbit
winter chill
on an autumn day-
early arrival
frozen rain
black ice-
a lover's lie
Most non Japanese Haiku, including English do not follow the 5-7-5 count, since the Japanese onji has no correlation with the syllable counts in other languages. A 5-7-5 haiku in English is usually seen as being too wordy, breaking the traditional spirit of Haiku. Even some of the Japanese masters denied the 5-7-5 onji form, stressing the importance of substance over form. No major Haiku publisher expects English Haiku to follow a strict syllable count. If you'd like further explanation, ck out the link...
Wonderful mental painting joining worlds of nature and emotion. Thanks for the instructive chapter on Haiku. I always felt the 5-7-5 doesn't feel right in English. Franz
Again I bow to the head of haiku royalty. I used to be of the 5-7-5 crowd. Still am sometimes. But after reading haiku by Jack Kerouac, I've totally changed my viewpoint on haiku. And Lori, whenever you post a new batch of haiku, you always end with a zinger. That last one up there is no exception.
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on November 20, 2004
Love reading them Loria......
Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger (Reader)
Reviewed on November 20, 2004
Lori, all of these are perfection, and I especially liked the last one. Absolutely stunning work. Thanks again for the explanation, although I’ll never be able to craft these as well as you can. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent. Take care and be well.
These are such beautiful gifts to your readers. The second one really conveys the haunting loneliness of winter to come. Death. A leaf left alone. The last one is omnious and chilling with a lot of mystery. Thanks, Lori.
Reviewed by A. Gagné (Reader)
Reviewed on November 20, 2004
Autumn is an eternally irresistible muse. You portrayed her with beautiful simplicity. I love the reminder of church bells and the warm fire within of spiritual contentment. The last stanza is intriguing and provocative. Well done.
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on November 20, 2004
Lori, these have atmosphere and absorb into the mind's eye, such beauty. I'm afraid I'm with Jerry, though, I'm still stuck in the 5-7-5 scheme... (I'm always the last to know when something new comes along.. LOL) And, like Jerry, I wouldn't throw rocks at these wonderful pieces... No, maam! Love it! katy xox.
Each of these is a breathtaking beauty, Lori. They just seem to snowball from one into the next. You do these little haiku so very well; you gotta know I am your number 1 fan, especially since I seem to really struggle when trying to write them.
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on November 20, 2004
I prefer the 5-7-5 syllable count in Haiku but I sure can't bad=mouth this set of pieces. Each one just called more attention to the coming season than the other, and then, of course, the last one that chilled me like frostbite.
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Enter the pages of diaspora in quiet introspection. Bathe your thoughts with subtle humor; synchronize your spirit-sense with history-in-heat; fall headlong with eyes wide open into
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masterfully penned, your haiku are amazing! i love all of them, but that first one--WOW!
(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
Ladye Peg
Happy Holidays
ty, Dani
Well done.
"frozen rain
black ice-
a lover's lie "
Peter
Carole
TRASK
fall on the frozen ground-
an autumn kiss
Excellent. This one goes straight into my senses
Astounding haiku - scintillating style ... stunning!!
Best wishes,
Robert
Take care,
Sherry
I'm learning to enjoy Ku..
Thanks Lori..
Lisa
Reindeer
Love Tinka
love the first one, Lori...
of your beautifully written haiku
excellent writes
William ....Peace & Love