of course, this is written tongue in cheek...i think marriage is a wonderful institution but....

He asked me
How I felt about love and marriage
After so many years of being single
Scary question, even during daylight
So I crossed myself, threw salt over my shoulder
And knocked on wood
Before trying to answer
I feel the same way about love and marriage
That I feel about fruit cake
It’s lovely, it’s appropriate
It seems to make people happy
Its colorful, chocked full of nice things
But damn, the problem with fruitcake
Is that once you make one
You never seem to be able to get rid of it
No one wants it once its done
You can’t give it away or sell it
You hate to throw it away because
You have so much invested in it
But you sure don’t want the thing yourself
Sometimes you try to push it on your friends
But they just shudder and say no thanks
I have one of my own I can’t get rid of
So it just sits around the house
Until its old and you don’t mind finally
Getting rid of the damned old thing
He looked at me for a moment
Waiting for me to continue
Sure there must be a point I was getting to
I saw at once he would never understand
While I had been talking
He had eaten the piece of fruitcake
I had set in front of him
So I just kissed him goodbye
And went on with being single