Listen darling, don’t hand me any fairy tales
I quit believing in Santa Claus a long time ago
Sure, he didn’t have a white beard and red suit
But damn, he promised me the world
Wrapped up in gold and silver foil
And visions of sugar plums danced in my head
I guess the fantasy ended
When I found out the world he gave me
Was charged to my Visa account
The Easter Bunny and the Great Pumpkin
Ran off together while I was dealing
With morning sickness and dirty diapers
And there hasn’t been much Pollyanna in me since
So don’t bother with the fancy promises
Of candy coated nights and marshmallow tomorrows
I’d just gain weight from the sugar anyway
Tell me instead what you are going to do
For me today, tonight and maybe tomorrow morning
And I’ll be happy as any Cinderella you’ve ever met
Right up until the midnight you turn into a rat again
And I go back to sweeping cinders