You stand there with your best
bar room slouch
perfected from years of practice
half-watching the dance floor
with a jaded eye
thru an alcohol buzz and a cannabis haze
as I dance and posture
trying unsuccessfully to draw your attention
from the half full bottle of Dewars
near your elbow
and the half smoked Marlboro
between your lips
you glance my way thru squinted eyes
raise an eyebrow
of silent acknowledgement
then go back to composing
sardonic lines in your mind
About your night in the bar
how nothing interesting ever happens
In this place
I leave my faceless partner
finish my last drink of the night
and leave
thinking that for a moment
we almost connected
You are an absolute word-artist, Sue, and I can visualise every grainy detail of this sketched scenario. You have a stark gift of evocation, and of exposing the less romantic side of life. This seems very much a chunk of life and an unfinished story - in spite of your conclusion - and I would love to know more about these people - a sign of your excellent poetry! TY Kate xx
HI Sue,
As i often do I am going out on a limb here and say that no one really knows the full story of this man at the bar and what put him there no more then they know what put the lady there either. I spent a lot of time in my younger years when life seemed to be against me and I eventually found the courage to move away from the bar and back into "respectable" society when the right women gave me a look of acknowledgement. Except for the fact that he uses canabis you do not condemn this man, sounds more like you pity him.
Two sides to every story I say,
So many relationships started in bars end up being nightmares. There is no truth, just games, behind an alcohol wall. It is truly a blessing to question this connection.
Sue this is outstanding, having captured this moment to perfection!
You took me back to the bar I once owned, so many mermories of customers like this one.
This is an excellent write, Sue. The problem with meeting people in bars, is it seems, most times, alcohol is always their first love. They are on a one-way trip to the promised land and no one is going to get in their way.
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on January 23, 2005
I like how you wrote this and it makes a very strong point on looking before you leap.
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loved the scenic details put everything in it's place
enjoyed
Allen
Maybe this is why so many women get hurt.
Being second best to the demon drink.
Jekyll and Hyde, is based on sober non sober.
As i often do I am going out on a limb here and say that no one really knows the full story of this man at the bar and what put him there no more then they know what put the lady there either. I spent a lot of time in my younger years when life seemed to be against me and I eventually found the courage to move away from the bar and back into "respectable" society when the right women gave me a look of acknowledgement. Except for the fact that he uses canabis you do not condemn this man, sounds more like you pity him.
Two sides to every story I say,
Hugs,
Felix
You took me back to the bar I once owned, so many mermories of customers like this one.
Love, Eileen
Maginificent imagery!!
Love Tinka
Take care,
Sherry