this is for a friend who has asked to remain annonymous haha

Its creeping into a saturday evening, the lights are low, her whine is flowing
over and over, in my head.
2 Indian braves on top of a steep hill
1 working a fire sending smoke signals that trouble is afoot
the other beating incessantly on a drum made of cow hide tied
tightly around a wooden bowl carved from yellow pine.
all right behind my brown dead diseased eyes

Im in a seventies style velour black tuxedo,
wide lapels deep purple cumber bun, a silk bow tie
It is a rich look, like im wearin devils food cake
Vitalis hair tonic is beading on my earlobe
and will soon drip and stain and ruin

and (tonight we take the jag)

she in an evening sheath dress
the color of flesh crusted in a rainbow of rhinestones
smoking long white cigarettes

beautiful...but only on the outside
you see
she is poison
she is the cocked hammer of a sig sauer 9 mm
that is about to fall and blow my fuking brains all over my stained lapels
she is atoms splitting
she is insane with rage over my lack of concern

she is blonde with dark and smoky eye makeup
4 inch italian suede pumps
a real high class whore
except she doesnt f***
no matter how much you pay her
no matter how much you bleed

and it all comes down to

drinks on the terrace over looking the pool at 6
dinner for 20 stretched out on a table covered in white linen at 8
cigars in the study with scotch...neat...at 10
while the ladies
sip martini's 2 onions no olives in the parlor
thats douched in pink marble with flecks of gold

standing here
dreading, hating
drooling with contempt at the thought of spending the evening with
the c.e.o's and their lonely wives
the high priced defense attorneys
and their assortment of high profile pedophiles, murders
and thieves

all the talk, the whisper
the exchanged looks
the throaty laughter

In the past I have been known to interject violence at this point
usually towards women
but not tonight
just a gin and tonic for me johnny
and after that ill take a glass of patron poured easily over ice
dont spill it, dont slosh it around in my glass
im close to tearing myself free from my skin
jamming my fingers deep inside my neck and ripping my skull to pieces
no fuss, no cheer
just leave me here with my impending lung cancer and
my dying dog