The Beastie of Belmont United Church

There’s a beastie in our house
The house of the Lord;
A wee little beastie
We can all ill afford.

We don’t mind the ghost
He does us no harm,
But the wee little beastie
Showers us with alarm.

Belfries should have bats,
But ours has a raccoon
And when he gets testy,
Our ceiling is a-swoon.

He’s chewed out huge holes
That gets bigger each day
And throws this and that
Down the pews in disarray.

There’s a beastie in our house,
The house of the Lord;
A wee little beastie
So I’m never bored.

I clean up all his messes
Getting it readied for church,
But oh how I’d love to
Put him in the lurch.

His door has been found
To this house of the Lord,
But the beastie isn’t gone yet
That we can all ill afford.

Sadly, just after this was written, the raccoon was found dead in the trap and buried accordingly.