Spam and Eggs

Lovely ladies from around the world
Want to tug at my heart (and pants)
I won the Lotto in Nicaragua
Can’t remember taking a chance.

There’s another huge deposit box
That’s just been shipped to me
Now send a bank certified check
To the mayor of Tripoli.

Virgins virgins everywhere
Await my beck and call
Buy these pills and it will rise
And never ever fall.

I won a trip to Constantinople
And I know it must be true
I asked a man from Istanbul
He told me “lucky you!”

My guardian angel has good news
She wants to impart to me
Just send a check for 19 dollars
That’s almost like it’s free.

There’s a special lady in Amsterdam
Who’s waiting patiently
In a window by a small canal
Just sitting there for me.

Widgets gadgets and super glue
And all of them are mine
Just send my credit card number
Before the clock strikes nine.

The stars are all aligned it's true
Astrologers are never wrong
It’s from my pal in China
His name is Som Ting Wong.